When Your Husband Trusts You with His Tools

This morning, Shaun was in the driveway, changing the oil in our cars and rotating tires. I was inside the house, vacillating between laundry and studying for an upcoming one on one discipleship opportunity that would take place later in the week. I had just finished folding a batch of jeans and shirts when he came in, said he needed to take one of the cars for a spin, and asked if I would sit near the dining room window to keep an eye on his tools while he was gone.

So get this, friends. We live on two acres, and our house is perched far back from the road. It’s pretty private. People can see where our house is and that we are working on cars, but it’s not what I would consider a prime property to decide to steal from, let’s just put it that way. So of course my first (mental) reaction to his request was: Who in their right mind would be brave, errr stupid, enough to walk up the driveway, or trudge across the muddy field, so they can nab your tools? Especially since we’ve got other cars parked out there, and it clearly looks like someone’s home?  

And then I remembered reading recent headlines that reminded me there are people out there, out of their minds, into their drugs, who are more than willing to take ridiculous risks to commit crazy crimes.

So I said, “Sure. I’ll do it.” I grabbed my books, pen and 3×5 cards, sat at the window, and kept watch over my husband’s tools by day. In my studies, I came across Proverbs 31:11 …

The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain. 

I glanced out at the cars, the tools, the property.

At first, it made me feel good to think that he trusted me to do the job. You know guys and their toys tools. They spend a lot of money on them. Some of them are inherited and even have sentimental value. Shaun asking me to watch his tools would be like me asking Shaun to watch my heirloom quilts, or my computer and books.

But then I realized I had decided to watch the tools because I had formed in my mind what I considered a legit reason to play the role of guard. Not because he had simply asked me to. And then I didn’t feel so swell about myself.

My studies took me to I Peter 3:1 …

Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands … 

Now clearly, if he had asked me to do something contrary to God’s word, I would have had grounds to object. I should never lie, cheat, steal, murder, take the Lord’s name in vain, etc., even if my husband asks me to. Additionally, if I was in the middle of the delicate process of boiling milk, I would’ve had to say “Yes, but could you wait a few minutes?” I’m not trying to paint a picture that says the husband snaps his fingers and the wife hops to, no matter what. But the heart of the husband should be able to safely trust her. Trust her to what?

Well, in the tool scenario, Shaun should be able to trust me to want to help. I am made to be his helper (Gen. 2:18), and keeping watch over tools that are important to him should be important to me as well – whether I agree that the tools are in danger, or not. Were they in danger? Who knows? And who cares? If nothing else, watching over his tools helped him have peace of mind as he went about test driving the car. I don’t have to understand all the ins and outs of the request in order to obey the request with a glad heart.

The heart of her husband safely trusts her. He not only trusts her. He safely trusts her. I think that means she’s approachable. He can safely ask her to watch over the tools because he knows she won’t have an emotional blow up. He trusts her to actually watch over the tools, and not merely say she’ll watch over the tools. And she won’t hang it over his head when, just as she thought, nobody tried to steal the tools while he was gone. She has a gentle and quiet spirit, she’s eager to help if at all possible, and she’s submissive.

Sarah called Abraham lord. Little l, lord. So while wives may plan their days, the (big L) Lord will direct their steps (Prov. 16:9) … and he will often do that through the (little l) lord he has placed directly over them.

Our marching orders from above are clear. But the funny thing about marching is that you can do it pretty well without the right spirit. One foot in front of the other. March, march, march. But God knows the heart, and chances are, so does your husband, if you’ve been married any length of time.

So let’s ask ourselves (and possibly our husbands if we don’t know the answers):

Are our husbands able to trust us to do the right thing? Do they know for certain we will gladly help? Are we approachable and reliable? Or are we emotionally explosive and fickle?

Can our husbands’ hearts safely trust us?