‘Holy’ Hypocrisy: Christians, Rainbows & Forbidden Delights

‘Holy’ Hypocrisy: Christians, Rainbows & Forbidden Delights February 16, 2024

In a world filled with rainbows, unicorns, and glitter, it seems that some Christians have taken a vow of hypocrisy. Now, before we dive into the deep end of this delightful pool of contradictions, I want to make one thing clear: I’m not here to bash Christianity or anyone’s faith. There are growing number of people who love and follow Jesus, and who unconditionally love and affirm their LGBTQ+ neighbors.

My goal is to help people deconstruct from false, harmful beliefs that are common in the part of the Christian church that is nonaffirming. My desire is to free hearts to love and be loved. So, for this article, I want shine a light on the wacky world of Christians who hold anti-gay beliefs while inadvertently embracing some surprisingly gay-friendly practices. Let’s have some fun. And maybe, just maybe a few readers will look in the mirror and have a change of heart.

  1. Worshiping a Fabulous Rainbow: Picture this: a devout Christian walks into a church, glances up at the stained glass windows, and gasps in horror. “Rainbows! They’re everywhere!” Yes, dear friends, those vibrant arcs of color are not just a delightful sign of God’s promise to Noah; they’re also a subtle reminder that somewhere over the rainbow, there’s a pot of hypocrisy.
  2. Jesus: The Original Hipster: Jesus Christ, the man who walked on water and turned water into wine, was undoubtedly a trendsetter. He hung out with a group of guys, had impeccable style with those flowing robes, and even rocked a beard before it became cool. In today’s world, we would probably label him as a hipster. So, Christians, if you’re going to worship a man who embraced a bunch of dudes, let’s keep an open mind about love in all its forms.
  3. Praise the Lord… and Lip Sync Battle: In the realm of Christian worship, there’s no denying the power of music. But have you ever been to a Sunday service and witnessed the enthusiastic praise that ensues? Hands flailing, bodies swaying, and voices reaching unimaginable octaves—it’s like a divine version of “Lip Sync Battle.” If that isn’t a celebration of fabulousness, I don’t know what is. So, why deny the LGBTQ+ community the chance to join in the fun?
  4. The Forbidden Dance: Remember the 1984 classic movie “Footloose”? It depicted a town where dancing was deemed sinful, and Kevin Bacon fought against the oppressive rule. Well, Christians, it’s time to ask yourselves: are you secretly afraid that a spontaneous outbreak of dance might lead to a surge in gayness? Just imagine a world where the dance floor is a metaphorical gateway to an alternate dimension where everyone wears fabulous outfits and busts out their best moves. Sounds pretty gay, right? But hey, it also sounds like a whole lot of fun.
  5. Let’s Talk About Adam and Steve: Ah, the age-old argument against homosexuality: Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. But if we take a closer look at the bible, we’ll find some intriguing stories that might make us question this belief. Consider the strong bond between David and Jonathan or the disciples’ willingness to lay their heads on Jesus’ bosom. It’s almost as if the Good Book is telling us that love transcends gender, doesn’t it?

So, to our Christian friends who hold anti-gay beliefs, it’s time to take a step back, put on some disco music, and embrace the fabulousness that surrounds us. Your religion may teach you one thing, but Jesus and life itself presents an ever-evolving tapestry of love, acceptance, and, dare I say, glitter.

Let’s be real: the world would be a much happier place if we could all just dance, laugh, and love each other, regardless of whom we choose to share our lives with. So, dear Christians, let’s strive for consistency in our beliefs and ensure that our love is as colorful and radiant as a rainbow on Pride Day.

Above all else, love.

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