The Dangers of Life in a Male-Dominated System

growing up duggar book cover

Sweet Readers, I write today to talk not just about the Duggars specifically but about something much bigger: the worldview that encompasses the Duggars. This worldview has built and is now the structural support of their thinking.No true healing will come to the Duggar home unless and until they begin to dismantle the structure.Here is the structure: a male-dominated, hierarchal, patriarchal system, and which is set up to practically insure abuse. This system breeds abuse for several … [Read more...]

“I am the mother of a gay son and I’ve taken enough from you good people.”


"I'm tired of your foolish rhetoric about the "homosexual agenda.” You are cruel and ignorant. You have been robbing me of the joys of motherhood."  I am the Mom of two LGBTQ children. I love them and advocate for them daily. I stand against the hate, condemnation, judgment, and abuse - most of it coming from the non-affirming, behavior-focused Christian church. "Why are you so mean?" people ask. "Why do you have to be divisive?" As if I’m the one kicking people out.So let me make this cl … [Read more...]

The Sneaky, Deadly Lies of the Duggar’s “Christianity”


What are we to learn – and teach – from the Duggar family? Josh Duggar admits to repeatedly molesting, assaulting and sexually abusing his younger sisters, and another unnamed minor. The parents, Josh’s wife, and others – including people like Mike Huckabee – call it a “mistake.”Yet these are the same people who, Bible in hand, condemn gay Christians as “a disgusting abomination and a threat to teens.”How does this possibly make sense?Oh, but it does make sense. Because the system is … [Read more...]

A Straight Christian Mom Responds to Dobson’s Attack on Gays


James Dobson doesn’t really “Focus on the Family”… he just focuses on SOME families. Marriage equality is only a matter of time—and Dobson’s newsletter attack, which includes a speech by Robert George, is basically a call-to-arms to resist “the homosexual activist movement” and its “master plan” of “destruction and redesign of the family.”As I have written before, God does NOT define marriage as a man and a woman. My mentor pointed out years ago that Dobson would have been much more helpful a … [Read more...]

Are You Leading People Astray by Supporting Gays?


Nothing quite like being told that I am rewriting the word of God - like if it truly is the word of God, do I even have the ability to actually rewrite it?!?Nothing quite like being told that I am leading innocent people astray and committing a grievous sin.Welcome to my world.  :-)As one of my wonderful readers said, "The amazing lengths people will go to, the excuses they will make to avoid those two little commandments Jesus gave: love God and love your neighbor."I do have … [Read more...]

Doesn’t God Tell Us To Hate Evil? (This Could Change Everything!)

one in four

Alarming numbers of young people who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender or queer are becoming homeless, kicked out of families and churches, choosing substance abuse, and even making the tragic decision to end their own lives.What are we called to do?When the Pharisees -- who were focused on behaving the "right" way instead of loving -- were nose-to-nose with Jesus, they missed him! They didn’t understand at all.You may be doing the same thing.This is Rob, Susan's husband w … [Read more...]

What My Mom & I Never Had


Neither of my parents are alive. I lost my Dad when I was in my 20's and my relationship with him was difficult and distant. I can't recall a single "I love you." But Mom was different. She loved me and I knew it. Our relationship was very tender. She was at every school event, every concert. She was my biggest fan, and she was the first one I would call when something good happened in my life. She died in 1995.But it was complicated. I felt like we could have had a much deeper, genuine … [Read more...]

My Family is Using the Bible to Condemn My Gay Son – How Can I Respond?


Have you ever had someone come at you - judging and condemning your gay children? Maybe trying to "set you straight"? Even saying you and your child are going to hell using words like abomination and apostate?Both Rob & I have.Friends (I guess it would be former friends), strangers online, church leaders, and even close family members. All judging and condemning us because of our love for our own children, and because of our advocacy for human beings who are gay.There are many of … [Read more...]

The Proverbs 31 Woman Speaks! (Moms, this is for you.)


This is a message for all the women weighed down by the Proverbs 31 Woman. Well, she stopped by to clear the record on the book written about her. :)  Here she is... in her own words...For heaven's sake! What have you done to my story? Here it is, a beautiful poem, and it's been used as a noose around your neck. It was never meant to be that. You're cooking and canning, washing and scrubbing, up before the crack of dawn, striving SO HARD to be "practically perfect in every way." You're as ba … [Read more...]

Are These 5 LGBT Issues More Important Than Same-Sex Marriage?


I’m a big supporter of same-sex marriage. I have been for a long time. As a gay man, it makes me happy and proud to see same-sex marriage become legal in so many states, even in my home state of Oklahoma. And yet, I am also aware that same-sex marriage is by far not the most pressing issue in my community. Marriage didn’t have to be the main focus of the LGBT rights movement. The riots at Stonewall, for example, were about being left alone – stop harassing us, stop arresting us, just let us be. … [Read more...]