It’s Baaack! The Nightmare of Ex-Gay Reparative Therapy

So-called “reparative therapy” is in the news again! Yippee! Nevermind that those who have been through it report the horrific abuse involved, the lifelong scars sustained, the devastating self-loathing that results.Don't worry that the medical and psychiatric community has decried it as not only failed as a practice that doesn't deliver the hope-for result of a changed orientation--that should be reason enough to put it to rest--but it's also loaded with deadly side effects. Depression, self … [Read more...]

The Biggest Mistake I Made as an LGBTQ Ally & Advocate

At points in my journey as the Dad of two LGBTQ children—coming from being a leader in the Evangelical church for 25 years—my privilege as a straight white male was pointed out to me.I didn't get it. And so I denied it.That's how privilege works. Privilege is invisible to those who have it.My biggest mistake as an advocate and an ally, and probably as a human being, was not to acknowledge my privilege sooner.This prevented me from seeing the depth of the marginalization and opp … [Read more...]

11 Things I Would Tell You If You Were My LGBTQ Child

I was heartsick that a Pastor - claiming to speak for God - called his Christian teenage son 'disgraceful, demon-possessed poison.'Many of you have been called words like this – by strangers, friends, people in your church, family, and maybe even your Dad too. And you carry deeper wounds than anyone even knows.Well, this Mom wants to tell you a few things.I have five grown children, three girls and two boys - including two queer (their word) daughters. I began my nonprofit – Fre … [Read more...]

Obergefell & Orlando, From Joy to Grief… What Do We Do Now?

The world is grieving the horrific mass murder of so many innocent LGBTQ people and family. Hearts are wrecked, wondering where we go from here. Moms in my secret Facebook support group are afraid for their kids, wondering how to help them navigate when a place of sanctuary can be destroyed in one disastrous night.LGBTQ people have sent tender messages, afraid for their lives—many who lost friends that night—but they are tired of living in fear. That’s what the closet was all about and they a … [Read more...]

“Uh, No, We Don’t Have Gay People Here!”

So many people in power are completely out of touch with the people they are supposed to serve. This is another reason to be wary. You see it in the recent rape cases making national news. And perhaps you’ve seen Upworthy, a YouTube channel full of uplifting and eye-opening videos. Rachel Maddow interviewed State Representative Jim Buchy who co-sponsored the “heartbeat” abortion ban.Maddow asked Buchy: “What do you think makes a woman want to have an abortion?” After stumbling around a minute … [Read more...]

11 Reasons You Should Absolutely Go to Your LGBTQ Child’s Wedding

One of the most spectacular weekends of my life was the time of my daughter's wedding! I don't know about you, but I wouldn't have missed it for anything. Here's what I got to enjoy: a Friday night crawfish boil with both families eating, drinking, and enjoying each other. Saturday morning of beignets and coffee, and a walk down Magazine Street with all the girls.Helping my daughter with her makeup and outfit and flowers. (She didn't need help--I needed to help.) Telling her how absolutely be … [Read more...]

God is NOT a Bully… Though Some Christians Are

Here is the great tragedy of the church: it has distorted God’s message for humanity to be all about behavior. The “astoundingly good news” (that’s what gospel means) is NOT that we can now be well behaved. In fact, Jesus never talked about being well behaved but about how lavishly God loves you.God doesn’t want us focused on behavior but on relationship. Between you and God, you and the Divine.The thing is that people really like power... and really like control...and really like money. … [Read more...]

Loving Your LGBTQ Child and Strengthening Your Faith

I took my laptop with me to the kitchen for a lunch break from writing — I like to enjoy TED Talks as I cook — and today it was “10 Most Inspirational Ads.” It was ad number eight, I think, that got me. I won’t do it justice here but essentially: the little boy was caught stealing medicine for his mother, but a kind man gave him a break, paying for the meds and giving him soup as well — then thirty years later when that man ended up in the hospital, the boy turned out to be the doctor and so was … [Read more...]

Life is Short Enough. Don’t Give Yours Away.

Time flies whether you’re having fun or not. Mary Engelbreit.Mother’s Day. My sweet husband had posted this picture of me when my children were young, and I marveled at my youthful face… I received Skype calls from four children and a phone call from the fifth one whose Skype didn’t work. <3 And I noted my kids as they called had that same youthful face! That smooth skin, that life. LIFE.Time flies – that’s my point!Time flies whether your kids are clamoring at your feet or are tho … [Read more...]

Love or Hate? It’s in the Eye of the Receiver

“What sorrow for those who say that evil is good and good is evil, that dark is light and light is dark, that bitter is sweet and sweet is bitter. What sorrow for those who are wise in their own eyes and think themselves so clever.” Isaiah 5:20-21.Christianity has been used in many ways throughout history: to support slavery, to demean women, to abuse children, to oppress LGBTQ people, to empower the powerful, to keep the powerless in line.None of this is even remotely close to the gos … [Read more...]


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