My Daughter… the Wise, Wonderful Heretic!

“If the you of five years ago doesn’t consider the you of today a heretic, you are not growing spiritually.” — Thomas MertonMy delightful daughter Hannah, whose AMAZING coming out post we ran last year, has written another great post on her Facebook page. She is always thought-provoking and I just had to share this with you (with permission). I hope you enjoy it too. Story time!A while back, I received a note from someone I've known for over a decade.This person expressed their disap … [Read more...]

Eat, Pray, Love Who You Love. Elizabeth Gilbert Comes Out!

I love how Elizabeth Gilbert - the bestselling author of Eat, Pray, Love - came out today about her relationship with Rayya: she just came out. Not gigantic fanfare, just a Facebook post saying, this is our relationship.She came out now because Rayya has cancer, and they want to be able to walk in a room arm in arm and, as Liz says, "feel relaxed enough to stand comfortably in simple openness about who we actually are to each other." They want not to have to pretend, because “pretending is d … [Read more...]

Does Christian Scripture Really Condemn Homosexuality? (Hell No!)

Rejection, shunning, condemnation, ridicule, bullying, all in the name of God. If you are LGBTQ, or the parent of an LGBTQ child, or anyone who is affirming and including, you have likely been on the receiving end of this kind of treatment. And worse.Does such treatment have anything to do with God?  No, not really. It is about fear.Does it have to do with the Bible? Not at all. Those who use Christian Scripture to stand against same-sex relationships are twisting those Scriptures to … [Read more...]

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A Boy in a Tutu, a Mom, and the Scary Words of a Stranger

"My son wears tutus. It was fine... until yesterday!" This is the story of the innocence of a child, the love of a Mom, and the scary, hurtful words of a stranger.Unfortunately, it is a situation repeated on a tragically frequent basis.Is it hate? Ignorance? Misguided interference? You decide.I will let Jen, the Mom, tell you what happened...My three-and-a-half-year-old son likes to play trucks. He likes to do jigsaw puzzles. He likes to eat plums.And he likes to wear … [Read more...]

As a Person of Faith, I Fully Accept & Affirm LGBTQ

“You’re a Christian! How can you support LGBTQ people and gay marriage? Don’t you realize you are condoning sin? You are leading people into hell!”This is Rob, Susan’s husband, and I have heard it all! Multiple times a day from strangers. Frequently from people who claim to be friends. And more than I ever thought possible from close family members.When we came out as parents of an LGBTQ child, and then as fierce allies and advocates, I was pretty defensive.More than 25 years in the e … [Read more...]

7 Reasons Christian Parents Who Reject Their Gay Children Are Being Arrogant

How Arrogant Must You Be to Reject Your LGBTQ Child? EXTREMELY.To stand at the door of your home, or of your church, and tell someone that they are not welcome is indefensible. But it happens every day to people who just happen to be gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer or questioning.And nothing hurts a heart more than when that rejection comes from a Mom or a Dad.The driving force behind people who reject their children for whatever reason is arrogance.Why?I’ll give y … [Read more...]

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Would Unconditional Love Change Things?

It's women’s gymnastics time again! It is my favorite Olympic event, of all time, period. I feel the adrenaline as I watch them. Those young women perform skills so hard they shouldn't be possible! They work years to develop their ability--and they make it look easy!Consider the balance beam: the commentator says the gymnast's boldness is the difference between winning and losing.The more she attacks and goes for each skill, the less likely she is to fall off the beam.A missed trick c … [Read more...]

It’s Baaack! The Nightmare of Ex-Gay Reparative Therapy

So-called “reparative therapy” is in the news again! Yippee! Nevermind that those who have been through it report the horrific abuse involved, the lifelong scars sustained, the devastating self-loathing that results.Don't worry that the medical and psychiatric community has decried it as not only failed as a practice that doesn't deliver the hope-for result of a changed orientation--that should be reason enough to put it to rest--but it's also loaded with deadly side effects. Depression, self … [Read more...]

The Biggest Mistake I Made as an LGBTQ Ally & Advocate

At points in my journey as the Dad of two LGBTQ children—coming from being a leader in the Evangelical church for 25 years—my privilege as a straight white male was pointed out to me.I didn't get it. And so I denied it.That's how privilege works. Privilege is invisible to those who have it.My biggest mistake as an advocate and an ally, and probably as a human being, was not to acknowledge my privilege sooner.This prevented me from seeing the depth of the marginalization and opp … [Read more...]

11 Things I Would Tell You If You Were My LGBTQ Child

I was heartsick that a Pastor - claiming to speak for God - called his Christian teenage son 'disgraceful, demon-possessed poison.'Many of you have been called words like this – by strangers, friends, people in your church, family, and maybe even your Dad too. And you carry deeper wounds than anyone even knows.Well, this Mom wants to tell you a few things.I have five grown children, three girls and two boys - including two queer (their word) daughters. I began my nonprofit – Fre … [Read more...]