Grief for the loss of so many bodies. So many black bodies. So many transgender bodies. So many bodies lost to COVID 19. So many LGBTQ bodies ravaged by bullies and by parents. So many female and child bodies raped or sexually enslaved. My heart is troubled. Images of a body on the street crying out for breath; a body chased down and beaten simply because they did not fit in; a body kicked to the streets by parents; a... Read more
Years ago at a conference, the husband of a dear friend said to me, “Your work has helped my wife through a tremendously difficult time. Thank you, thank you for what you do.” Deeply moved I said, “You are so welcome!” Ten minutes later he found me again and said, “I’m sorry, I thought you were Rachel Held Evans.” Well, there you go! And who better to defer to than Rachel? She helped many of us through tremendously difficult times.... Read more
Queer folk often wonder whether it’s okay to lie about their orientation or gender identity. Understandably. The cost of coming out can be exorbitant, and sometimes people are asked when they’re not ready to tell—and those asking aren’t really ready to hear! But LGBTQ people feel terrible lying about it. Yes! So, inspired by Queer Theology’s recent podcast on the topic, I wanted to speak to this as a mom here. The classic question about lying is this: is it... Read more
I am writing you this letter because I know—both as a mom of five kids, and as a human being—that we could all use a little more tenderhearted mothering. You, Sweetheart, you are beautiful—I can tell from here! You are loving, you are kind, you are only seeking the best for yourself and others in the world. I know these things are true about you. Who could ask more than that?! God designed you in God’s very image—yes! Exactly as... Read more
She barely hung up the phone before the tears poured out. “Oh, God, why are you letting this happen? Why??” She just saw all the pictures—accidentally—of the family holiday party. She had no idea there was a party because no one told her about it. They simply had a family party and excluded her. What the hell?? She was unspeakably angry, immeasurably hurt. She’d scrolled on her phone as she sat in her jammies bingeing on Netflix when she saw... Read more
Congratulations. You’ve won. You’ve earned your ticket into Heaven by showing your son God’s love. You’ve shown your son God’s love by not allowing him to bring me to your home for Christmas. You’ve done exactly what Jesus would do – shun others. After all, Jesus didn’t let JUST ANYONE at his table. It’s sad that on a day you celebrate the birth of Christ, you’ll be acting in the complete opposite way that Jesus acted. Alas, you must show... Read more
Hey fellow Moms and Dads. You may feel like a deer in the headlights! Your child just told you: “Mom, I’m gay,” “Dad, I’m lesbian,” “I’m bisexual,” or “I’m transgender.” I know! This is the last thing you want to hear, and your head is spinning. What does this mean? What will become of my child? What did I do wrong?! I understand. This can be a very hard time for you. But you can get through this. My name... Read more
Coming out to your Christian parents can be a real risk. You put everything on the line, and you don’t know what will happen. Will they come alongside you? Or disown you? I’m a mom of five kids, and we spent more than 20 years in the evangelical church. My oldest daughter came out about 10 years ago and soon after, my youngest daughter came out. We embraced them immediately, but many parents don’t. I filmed a video for The... Read more
James Dobson doesn’t really “Focus on the Family”… he just focuses on SOME families. Full marriage equality is coming; full acceptance, inclusion and belonging is coming. It’s only a matter of time, and it’s about time! Dobson’s attacks, representative of so many in the non-affirming evangelical church, have gone on for a long time and they are getting old and are more out of touch than ever. They are unBiblical and unlike the Jesus they claim to represent. As I... Read more
Years ago at a conference, the husband of a dear friend said to me, “Your work has helped my wife through a tremendously difficult time. Thank you, thank you for what you do.” Deeply moved I said, “You are so welcome!” Ten minutes later he found me again and said, “I’m sorry, I thought you were Rachel Held Evans.” Well, there you go! And who better to defer to than Rachel? She has helped many of us through tremendously difficult... Read more
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