“My son wears tutus. It was fine… until yesterday!” This is the story of the innocence of a child, the love of a Mom, and the scary, hurtful words of a stranger. Unfortunately, it is a situation repeated on a tragically frequent basis. Is it hate? Ignorance? Misguided interference? You decide. I will let Jen, the Mom, tell you what happened… My three-and-a-half-year-old son likes to play trucks. He likes to do jigsaw puzzles. He likes to eat plums. And... Read more
“You’re a Christian! How can you support LGBTQ people and gay marriage? Don’t you realize you are condoning sin? You are leading people into hell!” This is Rob, Susan’s husband, and I have heard it all! Multiple times a day from strangers. Frequently from people who claim to be friends. And more than I ever thought possible from close family members. When we came out as parents of an LGBTQ child, and then as fierce allies and advocates, I was... Read more
How Arrogant Must You Be to Reject Your LGBTQ Child? EXTREMELY. To stand at the door of your home, or of your church, and tell someone that they are not welcome is indefensible. But it happens every day to people who just happen to be gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer or questioning. And nothing hurts a heart more than when that rejection comes from a Mom or a Dad. The driving force behind people who reject their children for whatever... Read more
It’s women’s gymnastics time again! It is my favorite Olympic event, of all time, period. I feel the adrenaline as I watch them. Those young women perform skills so hard they shouldn’t be possible! They work years to develop their ability–and they make it look easy! Consider the balance beam: the commentator says the gymnast’s boldness is the difference between winning and losing. The more she attacks and goes for each skill, the less likely she is to fall off the beam.... Read more
So-called “reparative therapy” is in the news again! Yippee! Nevermind that those who have been through it report the horrific abuse involved, the lifelong scars sustained, the devastating self-loathing that results. Don’t worry that the medical and psychiatric community has decried it as not only failed as a practice that doesn’t deliver the hope-for result of a changed orientation–that should be reason enough to put it to rest–but it’s also loaded with deadly side effects. Depression, self-loathing, suicide. How out-to-lunch, out of touch,... Read more
At points in my journey as the Dad of two LGBTQ children—coming from being a leader in the Evangelical church for 25 years—my privilege as a straight white male was pointed out to me. I didn’t get it. And so I denied it. That’s how privilege works. Privilege is invisible to those who have it. My biggest mistake as an advocate and an ally, and probably as a human being, was not to acknowledge my privilege sooner. This prevented me... Read more
I was heartsick that a Pastor – claiming to speak for God – called his Christian teenage son ‘disgraceful, demon-possessed poison.’ Many of you have been called words like this – by strangers, friends, people in your church, family, and maybe even your Dad too. And you carry deeper wounds than anyone even knows. Well, this Mom wants to tell you a few things. I have five grown children, three girls and two boys – including two queer (their word)... Read more
The world is grieving the horrific mass murder of so many innocent LGBTQ people and family. Hearts are wrecked, wondering where we go from here. Moms in my secret Facebook support group are afraid for their kids, wondering how to help them navigate when a place of sanctuary can be destroyed in one disastrous night. LGBTQ people have sent tender messages, afraid for their lives—many who lost friends that night—but they are tired of living in fear. That’s what the... Read more
So many people in power are completely out of touch with the people they are supposed to serve. This is another reason to be wary. You see it in the recent rape cases making national news. And perhaps you’ve seen Upworthy, a YouTube channel full of uplifting and eye-opening videos. Rachel Maddow interviewed State Representative Jim Buchy who co-sponsored the “heartbeat” abortion ban. Maddow asked Buchy: “What do you think makes a woman want to have an abortion?” After stumbling... Read more
One of the most spectacular weekends of my life was the time of my daughter’s wedding! I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t have missed it for anything. Here’s what I got to enjoy: a Friday night crawfish boil with both families eating, drinking, and enjoying each other. Saturday morning of beignets and coffee, and a walk down Magazine Street with all the girls. Helping my daughter with her makeup and outfit and flowers. (She didn’t need help–I needed to help.) Telling... Read more
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