I am sorry if the title of this post shocks you, or strikes you as harsh or over-dramatic. But honestly, parents don’t realize what they’re asking of their LGBTQ kids. And they don’t realize what their rejection is doing to them. This is not about inclusion. This is a matter of life and death. By making their children stick to their own expectations and standards for them — whether they really think their gay child is going to hell or... Read more
“I started to look at her again as my cousin whom I love, not as a ‘label.’ And I started to grieve. I grieved all the time I judged her, stayed away, labeled her, instead of just loving her. I wept over all the missed time.” When you read this, does anyone come to mind? Your child, parent, brother, sister, family member, dear friend? Someone sure comes to mind for me. We act like we have forever, that we will... Read more
More today from my Saturday “Jesus Blog” (or maybe today it’s “Mr. Potato Head Jesus Blog”) – a word from Jesus to you… 🙂 How are you doing? I’ve been thinking about you. I like the image of all of you as ‘part of a body.’ Each has a function, each needs the others, and none is more important than the rest. Every part has a key role to play. And if one part becomes sore or injured, the other... Read more
What kind of love is it to call a fellow human being, maybe even your own child, an abomination? What kind of love is it to tell someone they are going to hell? That you are disgusted by them because of something they are doing? What kind of love is it to tell someone they are no longer welcome in church, or welcome in their own home because of who they are or what they do?? And how can someone... Read more
Our friend Bobby was a hemophiliac. At one point, he needed a blood transfusion; unfortunately, Bobby received his transfusion in the 80s, before they thoroughly screened donated blood for the HIV virus. Bobby was among the last children who caught the HIV virus from a blood transfusion. We all have a God-shaped vacuum — I truly believe we do — a vacuum only God can fill. But most of us who have received our transfusion from Jesus got it in the “Christian... Read more
Four years ago our daughter came out to us. She was 20. Here’s one of my first thoughts: we’ll never be the same in the church. No kidding. My daughter is telling me something very intimate and scary, several thoughts are going through my head, and I am a little surprised to realize that one is about how the church relationship would never be the same. Not just our then-church but the evangelical tradition we’d been in for 20+ years.... Read more
Is there an empty chair at your table? Is your table big enough for everyone? Young and old? Women and men? Those who have hurt you? Those you have hurt? For gays, lesbians, transgender, bisexual, queer? Everyone? What about God’s table? Do you believe God welcomes everyone – as they are? This is Rob, Susan’s husband writing today. 🙂 I was moved to tears at a recent church service. It was organized by the Queer Alliance at a seminary, and... Read more
What does a “godly” person look like? Is there a right way to love God? Is there a correct path to follow Jesus? I recently returned from my fourth “Christian” conference of the year. January I was in Chicago for the Gay Christian Network Annual Conference, where some 700 people gathered to celebrate, learn, and share community. Rob and I were among 200 parents, the rest were LGBTQ people, mostly in their 20s and 30s, gathered in the name of... Read more
This is a special Jesus Blog for “Coming Out Month.” Please grasp the heart of this message, but please keep yourself safe. You know your situation. Do not do anything rash that can put you (or your living situation) at risk. If you are in that kind of circumstance, but feel like it is time to come out, seek wisdom and help from others so you are not alone. More today from my Saturday “Jesus Blog” – a word from... Read more
Trapped in the “wrong” body? Forced to live in a way that contradicts the gender you know in your heart and soul you are? Transgender people have unique difficult issues – one of which is believing that God loves them exactly as they are. Many of my readers struggle with this, and I get this question a lot. I look forward to sharing one of those questions, and my answer, with all of you today. I write Dear Susan posts... Read more
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