Random Thoughts

Persons wearing dark blue corduroy jackets should not eat powdered donuts.

If I could ask God one question, I would ask “What’s up with praying mantises?”

If I was in charge, I would change the name of maple trees whose leaves turn red in autumn from  “Red Maples” to “Yellow Maples,” just to mess people up.

If there is a thought in the House of Representatives, but no mind to entertain that thought, does the thought exist?

Artistic depictions of Jesus that make him look like he’s from Sweden or Norway should be prohibited.

Any coffee named “Double Black Diamond” is too frightening to consider drinking.

Walt from “Breaking Bad” should join the cast of “Sons of Anarchy.” That show really needs a chemistry teacher with cancer who makes the best meth ever, just to make things interesting.

When Jesus said “where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I in the midst of them,” he meant it. More than three is too many. Jesus was an introvert.

A group of larks is an “exaltation,” and a bunch of sheep is a “flock.” Numerous penguins are a “colony,” and a gathering of cows is a “herd.” A group of philosophers should be called a “confusion,” and a gathering of theologians should not be allowed.

I know that it rains on the just and the unjust, but wouldn’t it be nice if it rained just a little more on the House of Representatives?

When Moses asks the burning bush “Who shall I say sent me?”, the bush should have said “Bruce Springsteen.” That would have been less confusing than “I am that I am.”

Three-legged dogs should not lift their leg when they pee. They will fall over if they do.

If Jesus were on the Olympic gymnastics team, his specialty would be the still rings.