Alcoholic Grace

Psychiatry no longer says I am an alcoholic. The modern term is “alcohol abuse disorder.” People in Alcoholics Anonymous continue to use the term “alcoholism.” The condition is a disease. The word disorder just does not sound right. My psychiatrist uses both terms. “Relapse is part of the disease,” she says. AA says, “Relapse is not a requirement of the disease.” The discussion makes me think about how grace is involved in healing the addicted person. If an addict relapses, is there room for grace?

Grace For The Alcoholic Helper

We automatically respond, “Of course there is.” But is anyone long-suffering enough to put up with chronic relapses. Few people have that kind of patience and strength. Thank goodness, though, we have many people around us to spread around the responsibility for being patient and strong. Someone has to be merciful to the merciful. The helpers need help.

No one can be “on” all the time for the addicted person. This is the reason for groups like Al-Anon and Nar-Anon. Family and friends are there sometimes. People who know what it is to continually pick up the fallen alcoholic though are life-lines to each other.

The grace and mercy necessary are too much for one person especially when that person cares for children as well. It is insane to expect it. Communities are meant to distribute burden. The community surrounding the family of the alcoholic does not usually understand the problem.

Gift and Weakness

A speaker asked a group of ministers for the following.

“Raise your hand if you weary.” I raised my hand.

“Raise your hand if you are tired.” It being three weeks from Easter, all the ministers raised their hands.

“If you are feeling weak.” I did not raise my hand with the others. In fact, I sat there shaking my head. And it struck me just then why I do not feel weak. A gift of my recovery is knowing when I am weak and why. Most people do not know why they feel weak. Before recovery, I always felt physically and mentally weak without being able to understand why. Now I know that I am weak when I want to drink booze. I am not feeling weak any other time.

I have times when I lack energy, am lethargic, and want to sit still. But this is not weakness. My body is calling for rest. This knowledge is a grace – a gift. Knowing I need rest and knowing it is not because I am weak has been the best gift for my ministry.

Alcoholic Healing

Celebrating sobriety is part of the cohesion of the recovery community. These “birthday parties” mark the time people have abstained from their drug of choice (DOC) and practiced the principles of the community. The person celebrated says, in effect, I have not had my DOC in X number of years. Each one of those days is a gift. But healing is a grace that is about a different sense of time.

Kairos is the sense of God’s right time. It is also the time of opportunity as in, “Now is the time!” Alcoholic grace is really about this sort of time. The time people decide to quit is always right now. The same is said about the time a person receives medical help in abstaining. Kairos is also about how life is arranged for healing.

Recovery is about learning. It is following the path laid out by others who have gone before us. In that sense, it is discipleship. More importantly, it is about learning how a single life has value. Mercy is the way of understanding this gift.

Now if only church people understood that for each other.