Believing

Well, if you’ve been paying attention, you won’t be surprised.

We met with a neuropsychologist yesterday and found out that Zach has a host of diagnosable issues.  I decided not to name them all here, but like I said, if you’ve been paying attention you can probably make some good guesses.

We’ve known for some time that he probably had some issues.  And then when we started homeschooling, they were unmistakable.  Still, I kept hoping that it was just his neurotic mother overreacting. Or that maybe all of these disparate issues could be explained by one easy-to-fix problem.  But as the doctor went over the results of hours and hours of testing, observations, and teacher reports, giving us a list of his “special needs,” the reality of all that he is dealing with sank in.

And I spent the next twelve hours crying.  My sweet, sweet baby is going to have to work so hard to make his way in this world.  And it breaks my heart.

Which is why I don’t think I have ever been more grateful to be married to Jeff.  His response to the diagnoses?  “We didn’t learn anything today that we didn’t already know. He’s the same kid he was yesterday.  And we’ll figure out how to teach him what he needs to know.”

When that didn’t help much, he said, “Look.  God didn’t make a mistake with Zach.  God wanted someone just like Zach to glorify him.  He’s a great kid and he’s going to find a way to do the thing he was created to do.”

Which I’m choosing to believe because I don’t think I would stop crying if I didn’t.