In The Aftermath Of Attempted Suicide

In the Aftermath of an Attempted Suicide

One week ago today, the small Christian school where I work had an experience that we pray no one will ever face. A precious ninth grade student attempted suicide. She was discovered in time (Praise Jesus!) by another ninth grade student. Let me briefly warn, this is not unusual. It is epidemic. Talk to your children. Talk to your students. Talk to your friends. Don’t be afraid to have the conversation.

This essay, however, is not about the event. It is about the aftermath. What a helpless feeling it is to stand before a group of young people after such a shocking occurrence with legal protocol that must be followed, knowing that their young hearts are shattered. I am going to share my experience, and maybe it will help someone else, although my prayer is that no one else will ever have to deal with this.

First, let me say that the current situation with the student is hopeful. If we were facing a funeral, this would be a much different blog.

My Phase One

The day after

The direction I got in prayer was to give each class a word exercise. They were told to get out a sheet of paper and something to write with, and to separate around the room. On the board, I wrote the word RELENTLESS. The students were asked to raise their hands if they could define the word, and I wrote each correct definition on the board:

RELENTLESS

Never giving up

Persistent

Stubborn

Doesn’t quit

Annoying (well, OK)

Never, ever stops for any reason

I then described my grandmother. My little Italian grandmother lived with us and cared for my brother and me. She was a fabulous cook and baker. Meals in our house were cooked daily and from scratch, including the pasta and bread. Grandma knew that my mom got off work at 5:00 and would be pulling up in front of the house at 5:10. She was putting food on the table at 5:15, and we were expected to be present and on time.

Grandma was a force of nature when it came to housework, as well. She cleaned the windows inside and out … once a week. She took everything out of the cabinets and cleaned the shelves, then put it all back … once a week. She scrubbed our kitchen floor on her knees (even moved the refrigerator … once a week. She scrubbed our concrete basement and concrete porches, you guessed it … once a week. She even scrubbed the street in front of our house so my mother would have a clean place to park the car. Each chore had its own assigned day of the week. We didn’t dare walk past the door frame with our shoes on, and we didn’t dare leave our shoes next to the door. In some ways, yes, annoying. However, we were never ashamed to invite anyone home, concerned about what the house would look like or if there would be something to eat.

Grandma was relentless, for sure!

So I asked the students to put a colon after the word RELENTLESS on their papers and to write the name of the most relentless person they knew.

They thought they could predict mine, but it ended up looking like this:

RELENTLESS: GOD

I explained that God was all those words we had listed, too, and that just the same way that my grandmother did all those things because she loved us, so God does all that He does because of His persistent, stubborn, unending, sometimes annoying, love for us. I reminded them that He has quite an investment in us and our futures. I did what I could to make them see themselves through the eyes of God.

Then I wrote Ephesians 2:10 on the board and told them to copy it:

“For we are God’s masterpiece, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

I reminded them that God sees each of them as His masterpiece, and masterpieces are not created overnight. I reminded them that God planned things for us to do in this life before we were ever born, that He gave us a road-map for life, and that once in a while, we all lose our way on that road. Still, He doesn’t discard us. He doesn’t hate us, and He doesn’t make fun of us. He loves us back on track.

Then I changed the wording just a bit and told them to write it again, and sign their own name at the bottom:

“For I am God’s masterpiece, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for me to do.” Beverly

Finally, I told them to read that last part through six or eight times, then fold it up and put it in their notebook, or pocket, or purse, or wallet–someplace where they would find it again, and whenever they began to feel like their own life was not worth much, whenever they began to feel small, to take it out and read it until they believed it. I told them to “Pray to see yourself as God sees you!”

My Phase Two

The next day

The next day, was a solemn day to reflect for some, while others seemed back on track. There were counselors available in case they were needed, but class had to go on. Like I said before. It would have been different if we were talking about attending a funeral. I gave out assignments. Then I tried to find opportunities to laugh with them. We, of course, did not laugh at the event or the student, but in every day, there are a thousand little humorous things to laugh about. Yes, even reading Beowulf, even identifying sentence patterns, even finding the moral lessons in Shakespeare’s plays, there is something to laugh about. In my life, it has made all the difference.

According to this article from the Mayo Clinic, laughter is indeed the best medicine:

When it comes to relieving stress, more giggles and guffaws are just what the doctor ordered. Here’s why:

By Mayo Clinic Staff

Whether you’re guffawing at a sitcom on TV or quietly giggling at a newspaper cartoon, laughing does you good. Laughter is a great form of stress relief, and that’s no joke.

Stress relief from laughter

A good sense of humor can’t cure all ailments, but data is mounting about the positive things laughter can do.

Short-term benefits

A good laugh has great short-term effects. When you start to laugh, it doesn’t just lighten your load mentally, it actually induces physical changes in your body. Laughter can:

Stimulate many organs. Laughter enhances your intake of oxygen-rich air, stimulates your heart, lungs and muscles, and increases the endorphins that are released by your brain.
Activate and relieve your stress response. A rollicking laugh fires up and then cools down your stress response, and it can increase and then decrease your heart rate and blood pressure. The result? A good, relaxed feeling.
Soothe tension. Laughter can also stimulate circulation and aid muscle relaxation, both of which can help reduce some of the physical symptoms of stress.

Long-term effects

Laughter isn’t just a quick pick-me-up, though. It’s also good for you over the long term. Laughter may:

Improve your immune system. Negative thoughts manifest into chemical reactions that can affect your body by bringing more stress into your system and decreasing your immunity. By contrast, positive thoughts can actually release neuropeptides that help fight stress and potentially more-serious illnesses.
Relieve pain. Laughter may ease pain by causing the body to produce its own natural painkillers.
Increase personal satisfaction. Laughter can also make it easier to cope with difficult situations. It also helps you connect with other people.
Improve your mood. Many people experience depression, sometimes due to chronic illnesses. Laughter can help lessen your stress, depression and anxiety and may make you feel happier. It can also improve your self-esteem.

In my own opinion, I believe it is good just to realize that after a difficult moment, you really can still laugh; you really can still find joy; you really can find normal.

I am not a therapist, a psychologist, or a counselor, but I know the very best One. I pray you never have to need these suggestions, but if you do, please try them out. Or you might pass them along to someone who needs them.

Here are the sobering statistics:

In 2021, suicide was the third leading cause of death among U.S. high school youth aged 14–18 years with 1,952 suicide-related deaths resulting in a rate of 9.0 per 100,000 youths . However, suicide attempts and suicidal thoughts among youth exceed deaths by suicide. The 2021 Youth Risk Behavior Survey (YRBS) found that approximately one third (30.0%) of female high school students and 14.3% of male high school students had seriously considered attempting suicide during the 12 months before the survey. YRBS data from 2021 also revealed that over 42% of high school students experienced persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness during the past year, and 29% of high school students reported their mental health in the past 30 days was not good most of the time or always. In addition, data collected during July 2021–December 2022 on the Teen National Health Interview Survey of adolescents aged 12–17 years estimated that 21% of adolescents reported experiencing symptoms of anxiety in the past 2 weeks and 17% reported experiencing symptoms of depression.

I don’t guess there’s any way to really prepare for events such as attempted suicide by someone you know. I don’t guess there’s a whole lot of right and wrong when it comes to reaction. We’re all different, but if I may go full circle back to the beginning of this blog, let me repeat, have the conversation. Open doors and keep them open. Share the love of God. Help them to understand their own worth. After you have taken a moment, laugh.