I think, Therefore- I am

I think, Therefore- I am December 9, 2023

I think Williams/williams


Here’s the thing about God and his baby son, Jesus—now understand its early like real early and this is my second cup of that Pacifico K cup of coffee from Costco so I don’t claim stableness necessarily for what I say, but I think God, the Maker of the Universe, loves me like nobody’s business. Jes sayin’.

I think his son-Jesus-who, if He is who He says he is, is my brother, loves me at least that much to cause Him to take my place in in the Big Line.

I think they are joyful in me.

I think I make them laugh.

I think they nod their celestial head when I say something profound.

     I think….

I think they hold me when I have no one.

I think they like me- like really like me. 

I think they enjoy me and actually want to be around me.

I think they are jealous for me.

I think they know me.

I think the two of them can’t wait until I say something stupid and they raise their celestial hands to hush the angels and say ‘hush, here’s where he says something stupid. Gosh We love him!’ It’s okay if they use the word stupid. They love me even more and it probably was.

     I think it….

I think it is they who make me laugh.

I think it is they, who tell me to turn right instead of left, avoiding the wrong way driver on the freeway.

I think it is they who give me insight.

I think it is they who are not at ALL ashamed of me, even when I can not even look at myself.

I think it is they who paid for me to be with them when I’m done here.

I think it is they who are awake at night when I get up to go pee, who nurture me back to sleep after Satan tries to rob me of rest with “The List.”

I think it is they, the two of them, who the Dad ask ‘Who shall I send?’ and my brother said ‘Send me.’

     I think all….

I think all these things and more. I think God made scotch.

I think he invented the butterfly and hummingbird.

I think when I look into my dogs eyes, I see them, Dad and Lord with the love in those eyes. The playful love. The deep and prideful love given to the one whose soul is looked into.
I think they don’t want to be anywhere else but with me. Sucks to be you, I got them so—

     Look, I am….

Look, I am no one on the world stage. I am just a guy, that is what my memoir will say. I am no better than you. So-you get this too. All you have to do is believe. You don’t have to do a thing. You don’t have to pay for club membership, eat certain food, pray a certain way, nothing. It’s free and yet it will cost you much and it was expensive—beyond imagination. It will cost you still those endless nights of pain and worry. Oh, you will worry, but if you believe there 1) is this loving God and 2) he loves you unconditionally, and 3) his son—your brother said to his Dad-‘Ill go instead of him’ and once, over decades you start to believe it, you will experience—something incredible. It will take time. Like it did me.

You can be a believer and find you shield yourself from God. You’re too busy. Something gets in the way. Something we all do, allowing it to get in the way. Satan is good and will use our own faith against us. But Dad knows that.

     God is never….

God is never caught off guard. He is never saying oops. He never loses us in the smoke and haze. He knows exactly where we are at in our lives and in our hearts. He realizes our pain, has it measured, and will use it to grow us. He never punishes and always corrects with love. Sometimes, it feels like the Hammer of Thor falling on us, but He has it measured. He will take us to the edge of the cliff and have us look in sometimes, but he holds our belt so we don’t fall.

It grows us.

It develops us.

It softens us.


Dare to believe you can be loved that much.



Home (markjwilliams.com)



About Mark Williams
Mark Williams spent the first twenty-one years of his career as a Special Agent for the Organized Crime Division of the State Attorney General’s Office. As part of his duties, he investigated organized crime, homicides, and fraud cases submitted by other agencies to that office. He has traveled across the United States as an instructor for law enforcement in various capacities. After he retired, he became a high school English teacher at an inner-city school in central Phoenix where he is the fourth generation in his family to live in the valley. Mark was married for almost thirty-eight years and is a retired widower. He has three children and ten grandchildren. You can read more about the author here.

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