How Do People do this without God?

NOT SURE HOW….

I remember snippets of my life from decades ago and as recently as yesterday. Pieces of video stored in my brain of things I thought of and did and all of them, well-most of them, never transpired into anything. Things which were not even thought of, took their place and the video recorded those and filed them away. Decades of videos of daily life, some boring, some heroic, some-I have no idea what.

If I believe in God-in Jesus, He is the author of The Plan God wants his best for me, loves me, adores me, washes me as white as snow the song says, then why are my ideas of good, seemingly set aside? Why are my ideas of good and evil, clearly in line with God, why are they not part of the video library?

     In my life….

In my life, I have projected myself and my issues and justified them all. I think we all can. When we steal a loaf of bread, we say we are hungry. When we cheat, we say there was something missing which needed to be filled. All of those, when I take them to the lab and look at them under a microscope, all have to do with ease of life. It is easier to steal a loaf of bread than pay for it. It is easier to cheat than walk the line. It might not seem so easy at the time.

But it is.

     So, we go back….

So we go back to God and the math equation I compare Him to. If I believe in Him, and at many times, I question, but when I do believe, I need to also believe in his Plan. I need to believe in who he is and what makes him, well, God. He is pure love; He is the author of Love. God defined it in real time for me with his son, Jesus, on the cross. It is His plan for me to be with Him. But a check had to be written for my sin, so, His son took and wrote it.

So, back to why God does not comply with my wishes.

He doesn’t because His are so much better. We can even find that answer in some of the worst things on this planet. But we have to wade through those events, at least I do, in order to look back and see it. I have discovered, the videos in my mind of my past or even of events now I look at and see as I live them, are all those which, with my age, know He is there, right in the middle of them with me and even in my thinking His plan will be the better plan. Some how, in the dumpster fire of life I might be living, it will be good-because it is His Plan and He is the author of Good.

Huh.

      When events wake me…. 

When events wake me at night, in the middle of the night, causing me to dwell on things from the day before and wonder how the days ahead will work themselves out, the anxiousness is from Satan, telling me I will drown and I need to dwell on that. But then, the Author of Love enters and allows me to give Him those concerns, right there, in the middle of the night, my dogs snoring like Boston Harbor longshoremen, and we talk. I can actually feel the anxiousness leave. It takes time, and usually I have to ask Him, but then it happens. Things settle and sleep returns. When I wake, somehow it is better. Its not fixed. The videos are still playing vividly, but there is something-

Something so much better.

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Enjoy the ride.