The Face of God

The Face of God July 8, 2018

The older I have grown, and the closer I have drawn to God, the more I have been confronted with the depth and the intensity of this human need for love. We cannot remember that we exist if we are not reminded, constantly and incessantly, of our existence; we can know neither what nor who we are unless we are called, constantly and incessantly, by our name.

Still, such dependency, from the dependency of a child to the dependency of a lover to the dependency of an old man, is always and at the same time a terrible vulnerability. It is far too kind to say that people are a cause of suffering for one another; we are, frequently and habitually, for one another a cause of annihilation, of torment, of death, of hell. Natural bonds, natural communities, become all too easily natural corruptions, natural violations, natural tyrannies. There is no end to the evils done to man by man, because man is dependent on man, because man is in relation to man, fundamentally and inescapably.

The desire for God is a universal constant for mankind; and the dependency of man on God is, of course, in every way for more fundamental and terrible than the dependency of man on man. We exist, moment to moment, only at the pleasure of God. He is infinitely greater than and infinitely beyond us all, and he calls us to himself through the Cross.

Yet I think, if we are honest with ourselves, most of us have at one time or other, if not habitually, made God into an idol of our own making. We have made God comfortably distant to us, comfortably within our control. We have made God a mere means, a mere symbol, of our own strength, knowledge, and self-sufficiency.

When we go to God, we go, often, away from merely human society and merely human powers, including those wielded by man over man. When we enter into God, we enter into that which is infinitely beyond and above every created thing and every created power and every created relation . This is experienced, rightly, as a liberation, a freeing from all the false and evil bonds, the chains of tyranny and sin, that we have all been subject to; yet if we are not careful, it can become a slavery far more terrible than any other: the slavery of a man to himself.

It is far easier than we think to confuse self-sufficiency with holiness. It is far easier than we think to confuse ourselves with God.

It was only after many years of reflection that I realized the Calvinist Protestantism I grew up with had only one serious flaw; that for all its learning, for all its sincerity and its good intentions and even piety, it in no way saw the danger of spiritual pride, nor did it in any way work against such a danger. Indeed, for its leaders, at least, it actively encouraged such spiritual pride, even demanded it: demanded or rather simply required each pastor to be exemplar and teacher, prophet and Pope of God, building all things on the foundation of himself.


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