Even if you’re lucky enough to live in an intact Catholic family — and especially if you live in a fractured family with multiple steps and exes — transit is an issue at Christmastime.
Starting tomorrow, a huge chunk of America will pick up stakes and relocate itself to another part of the country en masse. Those that don’t leave their home area may still be making the trek from house to house on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, seeking to see all the aunts and uncles and grandpas and grandmas and in-laws and friends.
I have a suggestion to stop the madness. It won’t work for everyone — and for certain lucky folks, all of this is great fun — but for some Christmas travelers, it may increase the enjoyment and reduce the wear and tear (and save a bit on airfare).
Also, let’s be honest, once all the excitement is over on Christmas Day, other than getting Chinese food and seeing a movie (with everybody else), there’s not much to do outside the home. Depending on your family relations, that can be a trial.
So here’s my thought:
Try splitting up the travel and visiting some family for Thanksgiving and/or the first week or so of December. Let’s face it, all the cool Christmas activities happen at the beginning of the month — town Christmas-tree lightings, the arrival of Santa, downtown community celebrations to encourage local shopping, hay rides, museum events, concerts, reindeer petting zoos and so on.
It’s early enough in the month for the shoppers not to be desperate, so everyone will still be in a jolly mood. Rather than just sitting around the house, staring at each other over Christmas detritus, you can be out and about in the community, sharing fellowship and the joy of the season.
Perhaps pick a couple of different weekends early in the month to see everyone you want to see and do some fun things. There’s no reason one can’t also do gift exchange during Advent (or even save it for the Feast of the Epiphany — which has the bonus of shopping the after-Christmas sales).
Then, come Christmas, if you’re married, stay home with your spouse and children, if you have them. Just be with each other, go to Mass, maybe go to Midnight Mass AND Christmas Day Mass. Give the actual Eve and Day to each other and to God.
And if you still want to say hello to everyone else, try Skype instead of getting on a plane.
If you’re single, find other single friends who are also away from family at the holiday and spend it with each other, and again, at Mass. Have a potluck (wouldn’t it be great if parishes had an “orphan Christmas” potluck dinner on Christmas Day?), watch some football or your favorite Christmas movie. Or, if you’re one of those couples or families that’s at home for the holiday, reach out to your single friends and invite them to drop by for some Christmas cheer.
Obviously, not everybody is able to do this, or even wants to. And those who really love to be with distant family on Christmas Day — or can’t take time off before the actual holiday — should absolutely do that.
But perhaps, there is a way to spread out the visits and the joy, and rather than battling fellow travelers, have a more reflective and peaceful Christmas Eve and Day.
This year, having already flown cross-country and seen my family, I’m off to marathon Midnight Mass with the Norbertines of St. Michael’s Abbey and then to dinner with nearby friends.
Whatever you’re doing, I hope it’s blessed and beautiful.
Image: Our Savior Parish at USC (taken by me)
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