she called me mommy.
my heart swelled up into my throat. i have only known these little people 4 days and i feel a love for them that is different than my love for anyone else. this is love that wants to protect, and comfort and take away all pain. this is a love that consumes my every move. she called me mommy.

our God is a God of miracles. about an hour ago, my oldest daughter was discharged from the hospital with the diagnosis of a broken collar bone and some soft tissue damage. of all things that could have happened to her (she was under a brick wall for goodness sake!) she has only these injuries, both of which will heal just fine with some time and care. tonight she will spend her first night with her sisters at my house. unfortunately, my bed was crammed enough last night with only my self and two of my girls in it, there is no way all three of us will fit in there. so they will sleep in their very own room across the hall. today after church we went out to lunch and scovia and maria tasted ice cream for the first time. the faces they made were priceless; i guess they didnt expect it to be so cold. they also discovered the joy of the bathtub a few days ago, and i think they have taken about twenty baths since they have moved in.

maybe i will never sleep past seven in the morning and maybe i will never have time to brush my hair and maybe i will never be able to eat a full meal without getting up and down a million times. its worth it. maybe it will always take me twice as long to do everything and maybe i will never have a really clean house and maybe my days of staying out late with friends are over. its worth it. anything i have to give up is worth just that one minute when they look at me and call me mom, when those little hands grab mine and those big eyes look at me as if i hold the keys to the world. its worth it.

sometimes i dont know what God i doing in my life or why. but every day His plan is better than mine. and every day i am just so glad that He is in charge, not me!