There are events in life that, even after you know they are true, hardly seem possible. Our mind greets some realities as if they were just conspiracy theories or mere bad dreams. When the real evidence comes in or when the sun rises, the mind wants to conclude, these events will be shown to be mere fictions. For all of its wishing, the mind cannot, finally, alter reality. Events happen. We may not like them. We may wish with everything we have that an event did not occur. Our denial may be strong enough for us to go through our days as if nothing has happened. Reality, however, is unfazed and unrelenting. Human wishing for reality to be different has no effect on reality.
For the Rushing and Roach families, reality seems to be off kilter as the unimaginable has happened. On Oct. 9th 2021, Rev. Dr. Dale Roach[1] passed away due to complications from the Coronavirus. He was 60 years old. Dale was married to Shelley Rushing Roach. They had three children and two precious grandchildren, with a third to be born in December.
Dale was an exceptional man and a wise pastor. He led the congregations he served with wisdom and distinction. His churches were blessed to have him. I personally had come to rely on his wisdom on matters of faith and the life of the church.
When I reflect on Dale’s passing, I am reminded of the words of James, the Lord’s brother, “Life is a vapor.” Life is very brief. Even the longest of lives disappears like a morning mist. Life is, “like an hourglass glued to the table.”[2] It does not last long.
I have developed a bit of a habit lately. Frequently, my youngest will want to sit in my lap and watch one of her cartoons. Then her sister will come up beside me. Huddled on the couch with these two precious children, I remind myself to be grateful. My life did not have to be this way, and the time when these two will sit with me is limited. “It does not last long,” I remind myself. “It doesn’t last long.” So, I lean back my head, close my eyes and pray. I thank God for His goodness, and I try to savor every last moment I can. One day… I shudder to write… One day… there will be no more Saturday morning mischief, no more toy box explosions, no more little girl squeals, no more dinosaur roars, no more voices saying “stop drinking the syrup,” no more dreadful cartoons. The girls will grow up. They will live their own lives. They will find adventures calling them to faraway places. Of course, all of that is as it should be, and I would want it no other way. I know, though, when this time is gone I will miss it. It doesn’t last long.
Whatever your station in life, remember, it doesn’t last long. Savor the joys of your life, even savor the tears. Savor every last moment, and hold on to them while you can. They will be gone soon enough.
The other thing I think when I am confronted with the reality of Dale’s passing is the uncertainty of life. Dale had plans for his life. He adored his wife, children, and grandchildren. He was elated for his third grandchild to enter the world. He was leading his church through a pandemic and planning for what came next. Because Dale believed in the power of teamwork, he created networks of persons in his church to share the privilege of ministry and develop gifts in the many people he served. Death was not what was supposed to happen now. Dale was supposed to be here for many more years. He had good years of ministry left in him. In the distance, he could envision retirement, I’m sure. Would retirement have meant travel, more time with family and friends? Would it have meant a new phase and new kind of ministry? We cannot know the answer. We only know that his life ended abruptly.
Life is uncertain. What we expected did not happen, as is frequently the case. Knowing the uncertainty of life, Dale lived in a way consistent with his faith and values. He chose to live in a way that he could be pleased with, even if life ended early.
On Friday his family will gather together with the people of God, celebrate his good life, and mourn his loss. We will hear the words of faith, and we will cling to the promise of eternal life through Jesus Christ. A good man who lived well will be honored, and the God he served will be praised.
[1] Dale was my wife, Molly’s, Uncle.
[2] Anna Nalick, Breathe.
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