Many of us are seeking transformation in ourselves or various aspects of our lives. The self-help and therapeutic book industry has grown into a multi-million, even billion-dollar market. Thousands of articles, coaches, and guides promise to help us become the version of ourselves we’ve envisioned. While we can learn to adapt, true transformation always comes from something beyond ourselves.
This blog explores the call to pursue leading a quiet life, as outlined in 1 Thessalonians 4:11. In our pursuit of a quieter, more intentional life, it’s important to remember what truly gives our lives meaning and drives our transformation. While the world often encourages constant striving towards a better you, the quiet life invites us to focus on the way of the Kingdom. True transformation, as we’ll explore, is not merely about self-improvement but about aligning our lives with something greater than ourselves, which brings lasting change and purpose.
You Can Turn Your Fear Into The Fire That Can Change Your Life
In an article in the Harvard Business Review, Matt Higgins writes, “You can turn your fear into the fire that can change your life.” The article focuses on how our fears, rather than being a force that holds us back from the abundance of life, can be skillfully retooled to propel us bravely forward. From a human-centered philosophical perspective, Higgins outlines four ways—drawn from his research and life experiences—that he believes can transform fear from a source of powerlessness into a catalyst for growth in our lives, pushing us to the next level or toward new opportunities.
Higgins’ encouraging words have their merit and impact. Certainly, it was fodder for some conversations within areas of my life that I think the unknown keeps me from stepping out. However, from his thoughtful article, there was that one line that resonated with me—“You can turn your fear into the fire that can change your life.” From a motivational and self-help standpoint, it’s a statement of empowerment and liberation, it is a hopeful expression that tells me I can manifest my own better way forward and destiny. Statements like this are rooted in the belief that we have within us what it takes to break free from hindrances and become the people we aspire to be. It is a part of the rise of therapeutic psychology which is focused almost religiously on the cure of minds through thoughts and patterns of thinking. Therapeutic psychology has its place in our patterned behavior and its resolve offers aspects of our lives some hope – but it is limited and it addresses some of our problems from a liminal space.
We May Adapt but Transformation is Different
Even with the best tools and tactics, few people can truly redefine themselves through sheer willpower alone. Neuroplasticity is possible at some levels, which overly simplified could be seen as a cure of the mind through the development of new thoughts and patterns of thinking. The Roman philosopher Cicero (106–43 B.C.), who himself could be described as an early humanist, once remarked that a soul in distress cannot heal itself by its own means but requires the instruction and guidance of a doctor – the philosophy of those who are wiser and healthier. That is a significant admission for Cicero, who believed like with much of modern therapy that the Stoics were right in saying that healing is found in truly learning “to know ourselves” (De Legibus). However, Cicero also seemingly saw the limitations of this approach. In Tusculan Disputations, Cicero believes that just “as a diseased body needs the aid of medicine” the “distressed soul require[s] philosophy” from the guidance and wisdom of others. Adaptation is what one may achieve on their own power, and there is time and place for that, but I believe transformation can only be done by a “shaping force” from outside ourselves. We have to admit that as embodied souls and inspirited bodies, the greatest transformation and healing for our soul (the whole person who is defined by the inner life) comes from outside ourselves not from a power or force mustered from within.
The Scriptures Outline The Source of Transformation
Through the prophet Ezekiel, God promises a people who could no longer go it alone that it was he alone who would gather them from the nations, bring them into the redeemed land, and give them a transformed purity, along with a new heart and spirit (Ezekiel 36:24-26, NET). Time and time again throughout the First (Old) Testament, humanity is capable of finding themselves in trouble but unable to bring their own reconciliation or restoration about. This is part of the gospel story that is interwoven throughout the scriptures. Reconciliation and restoration is the divine business that God is in alone, according to David’s own confession. David was a man who spent his days trying to pursue God’s heart (Acts 13:22). David writes that it is God who “heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds” (Psalm 147:3, NET).
Paul tells the church in Rome, a church discipled by a pagan and materialistic culture that they would find transformation in their lives by not being “conformed to this present world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may test and approve what is the will of God – what is good and well-pleasing and perfect (Romans 12:2, NET). This verse has been used in the justification of therapeutic adaptation forms, and there is some impetus for that. However, theologically we cannot forget the verse before it that tells us where the power of transformation is rooted in and comes from. It comes through confession and submission. It is in the beginning of that scripture, that Paul tells them that we are transformed in the renewing of our world when we “present [our] bodies as a sacrifice – alive, holy, and pleasing to God” (Romans 12:1, NET). The verse after that warns us that what keeps us trapped in patterns is when we “think more highly of yourself than you ought to think” (Romans 12:3, NET). It is important that new habits, patterns, and practices are incorporated into soul care, used to adapt unwanted behaviors and to help us live good lives, but they won’t lead to transformation, the transformation has to come from elsewhere – from an eternal and external source.
Fear Can Change Your Life
I do agree with Matt Higgins though, “You can turn your fear into the fire that can change your life.” I just think the fear that becomes a fire in our lives is rooted in a different place than sheer willpower and desire for change. I think we can adapt to our fears, we can medicate them, and we can reason with them, but we on our own power cannot transform them. I believe that the scriptures also testify to the transformative reality of fear – in more ways than one.
First, the scriptures show that you can turn your fear into a fire that immobilizes and imprisons us. A quick look at the story of the Israelites refusing to take hold of the land of promise in Numbers 13:31-33 is a great example of this. In Proverbs, we are reminded that “the fear of people becomes a snare” but it doesn’t stop there, it says, “but the one who trusts in the Lord will be protected’ (Proverbs 29:25, NET). Likewise, one of the Greek words for fear in the New Testament is phobos (φόβος). It is found in Matthew 14:26, Matthew 28:8, Mark 4:41, Luke 1:12 – and many other places. This sort of fear is often used to describe a fear that becomes crippling. It is terror. Phobos is that fight, flight, and freeze alarm that will keep us immobilized and imprisoned. The Greco-Roman world was ruled by a “phobos” of their gods, natural phenomena, and military threats and that kept them trapped in a way of life – immobilized and imprisoned. The disciples are affected by this fear from time to time, but in those stories, at the end of their ropes and power, but take note in those stories that it is only Jesus who can offer them a way out. As the Proverb I mentioned earlier says, “the fear of people becomes a snare, but the one who trusts in the Lord will be protected’ (Proverbs 29:25, NET). The deliverance (transformation) comes from the Lord, an external and eternal source.
Second, the scriptures convey a promise that fear can benefit us. In this way, fear can be turned into a fire that changes our lives. Proverbs, written by Solomon (David’s son), followed a mid-eastern tradition of gathering pithy and wise statements. However, Solomon’s Proverbs help us to see what wise living by God’s transformative power looks like in all matters of our personal conduct and daily lives. The book of Proverbs starts by declaring the intent behind his collection of statements, which include helping his readers (and perhaps his own family): “to learn wisdom and moral instruction, to discern wise counsel. To receive moral instruction in skillful living, with righteousness, justice, and equity” (Proverbs 1:1-3, NET). From the start, Solomon declares these pithy statements are external philosophy meant to shape the journey of one’s transformation because on our own we cannot do it by ourselves – we need the transformative power of God outlined in these Proverbs and the Proverbs themselves (the wisdom of others) to bring about transformation. Solomon then roots the reader in a confession that says true wisdom and transformative living come from outside of ourselves by saying, “Fearing the Lord is the beginning of discernment, but fools have despised wisdom and moral instruction” (Proverbs 1:7, NET).
In this Proverb, transformation is a result of wisdom, which is a gift from God alone. In his commentary on the Proverbs, Scholar Derek Kidner mentions that wisdom (transformation) does not come merely from “a right method of thought but a right relation.” That relationship is defined by “worshipping submission (fear) to the God of the covenant, who has revealed himself by name.” Kenneth Kitchen remarks, that this Proverb reveals that real wisdom, true wisdom, the kind of wisdom that transforms starts “must start with God” alone – but he also calls it an “essential foundation” that we can neglect or reject. Too often these good therapeutic practices have only answered or addressed part of the problem, they have neglected or rejected, that the essential foundation of transformed behavior is found in the essential foundation of a right relation, a worshipful submission to the God who has revealed himself by character and name. The wisdom needed to change our lives “comes from God, and whoever fears [God] receives it” and you receive it only through the “reverential subordination to the All-directing…to the One God, the Creator and Governor of the world.”
In the way standing on the sand and getting lost starting at the ocean has a way of putting life into perspective, the essential foundation of the worshipful awe and fear of the Lord puts the rest of our life into perspective, from our fear to our bad habits. In submission and surrender, our brokenness meets a transformative agent when we see the fear of the Lord as the starting point for understanding life rightly and gaining new ways of being – renewed senses of our mind and behavior. Transformation is always rooted in something outside of us, in something eternal and divine, that alone has the power to change (not adapt) our souls – spirit and body.
When we are facing something in our lives, the first step in wisdom is recognizing that our capacity to see the world clearly, make good decisions, and grow in understanding comes from submitting to a worshipful reverence of God and waiting for God’s guidance. Without this foundation, we are left to navigate life on our own, often making misguided choices. We may be able to adapt, but those who adopt a therapeutically driven “go it alone” or “do it yourself” approach far too often don’t incorporate our soul care at the center. The scriptures tell us that it starts and ends here. The idea that all we need to succeed lies within us and that we don’t need outside guidance or wisdom – a mindset popular in today’s self-help culture – can ultimately leave us stuck in our limitations, unable to fully transform and grow.
Three Takeaways
This truth is embedded throughout the scriptures – from the First to the New Testament. I offer three takeaways on finding transformation in our lives following an up/in/out rhythm:
- Up: Submit to the Worshipful Reverence of God. The starting point for transformation is always found first and foremost in practicing a sole focus on reverence toward God. True wisdom and transformation begin with recognizing our need for God’s guidance and submission to the will of God. This submission opens us to receive God’s wisdom and grace. Jesus taught us the same thing when he taught his disciples to “above all pursue his kingdom and righteousness,” and then the rest of the things will be given (Matthew 6:33, NET). In the moments that we are aware that we need transformation, we must start each day with a posture of worship and humility before God, acknowledging our struggles before God. It is important to see that God’s wisdom is the essential foundation for any transformation in your life.
- In: Invite Others to Speak Into Your Life and Pray for You. The kind of transformation that God brings about is not a solitary endeavor. Rather, we have been designed and called to walk in community. Community is where others can offer wise counsel, pray for us, and hold us accountable as we navigate challenges and fears. This is another way of submitting in worshipful reverence of God, and is what is behind James’ challenge to “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another so that you may be healed” (James 5:16, NET). Transformation or healing comes from not adaptation, but from God, and God often works through trusted friends or mentors who can pray with you, offer biblical wisdom, and help you face fears that may be immobilizing you. I believe that counselors, psychiatrists, and spiritual directors can also offer this kind of support when they have the essential “upward” part right in their approach.
- Out: Allow the Holy Spirit to Transform You Externally. Therapeutic approaches often look to empower you to be the best you, the “you” that you want to design and be. As we learn to walk with the Spirit of God, we find our transformation may take a completely different direction. The direction probably will not be the “you” that you’re designing for yourself but a more fulfilling direction – a step in the direction of what God wants you to look like. Paul states that if we “live by the Spirit” we also need to “behave in accordance with the Spirit” – which will bring about not adaptive living but rather the fruit of the Spirit and a life that God sets forth (Galatians 5:22-26, NET). The Holy Spirit empowers us to act in ways that align with God’s will – which will bring about a transformed self in the places we live, work, worship, and play. When fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, when others are walking alongside us, when we are in step with the Holy Spirit, you will find a new you interacting with the world around you.
Closing Remarks
Do not think that I don’t recognize the value of therapeutic psychology and the importance of therapy in supporting mental and emotional well-being. I have utilized forms of the above, referred people, and continue to explore resources that come from the therapeutic world. The concern for followers of Jesus lies in how easily faith can be overshadowed by a culture that prioritizes self-optimization over spiritual formation. Being formed in the image of Christ is at the core of our faith. Though, I do not dismiss therapy or distrust its practitioners – I believe that true healing and wholeness come from a deeper integration of faith, prayer, and community alongside professional care. My hope is not to reject modern psychology but to ensure that our pursuit of personal growth does not replace the transformative work of Christ in our lives. The scriptures remind us how we are created, and what brings transformation about in our lives. As Proverbs 1:7 reads in The Message, “Start with God—the first step in learning is bowing down to God; only fools thumb their noses at such wisdom and learning.” Fear can change our lives. But the question is not simply whether we can turn our fear into fire, but rather it is about what kind of fire it becomes. Will it be a self-lit fire that leaves us exhausted, striving on our own strength? Or, will the fear and fire that directs your life be the refining fire of God’s transformative presence, shaping us into the people we were created to be?
I’m always interested in a good conversation or a cup of coffee. Let’s connect! I love hearing others’ stories and sharing my own while finding ways to support others on their journey. Feel free to reach out to me via email —I’d love to hear from you. You can also connect with me through Facebook, Instagram, Bluesky, X, LinkedIn, Threads, and/or YouTube.
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