Why do I change so often

Why do I change so often January 6, 2005

Those unfortunate persons who have taken the trouble to follow my posts on various Internet message boards over the past few years have noticed (and sometimes gently remarked on) my frequent flip-flops with regard to Catholicism. This instability of mind cannot be more painful to others than it is to myself, but it seems to be incurable. When the fit is on, it seems clear to me that it is my duty to become Catholic and everything else is a cowardly evasion. Then, often in a matter of days or even hours, I find myself strongly inclined to believe that it’s my duty to remain Protestant and work for a deeper appropriation of Christian tradition within Protestantism. Some convictions don’t change–that we are called to work for unity, that Christian tradition as a whole is authoritative, that the papacy has a divinely ordained part to play in maintaining the unity and orthodoxy of the Church; or, on the other hand, that the papacy has taken on far too much power in the past millenium, that Protestants are in some sense part of the Church, and that wherever I’m called to be I will always try to preserve many elements of my Wesleyan heritage.

My blogs so far have mostly expressed my more “Catholic” moods. In the past couple of weeks I’ve swung in a more “Protestant” direction yet again. In the following days and weeks I will try to explain on this blog just why I find it so difficult to leave Protestantism (theologically speaking, that is–there are also personal issues that I don’t necessarily want to discuss here), and what kind of Protestantism I am willing to defend. I welcome comments.

My old cyber-acquaintance “Secret Agent Man,” whose views I have always found thoughtful and stimulating, has done me the honor of noticing my blog and commending it to his own readers. He has also encouraged me to post more often. I will endeavor to comply. Meanwhile, I wish everyone a blessed Feast of the Epiphany and a very happy New Year.


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