Midnight In The Garden Of Gethsemane Is Where You’ll Find Consolation

I sat under the table in my small apartment as the ground shook, the windows rattled, and my stomach turned somersaults. It was one month to the day after the 1994 Northridge, CA earthquake, and although the aftershocks had significantly died down by that point, they were still occurring unexpectedly every now and then, just to make my life even more miserable than it was.

It was also the start of Lent, a time I knew I should be more deeply in tune with, but having been separated from my husband for only 7 months at that time and headed toward the inevitable marital death nell of divorce, I was really struggling to feel that spiritual connection. All I felt was abandonment.

“Every Good Friday has its Easter Sunday.”

I had heard this a handful of times since my husband left, and some small part of me understood it was important to listen to it, because it offered some hope… a reason to persevere, a reason to trust God and his plan. But I had been swallowed up by this very bad “good friday”,  and my resurrection from the death of my marriage seemed like a tiny speck far off in the distance. How would I ever make it to that point? I felt I had no inner resources to draw from, and no one to help me carry my cross. It was the darkest period of my life.

I would be lying if I told you there was a sudden epiphany of wisdom or a bolt of lightening that gave me the inspiration I needed to get me through that day or the years that followed. My “good friday” lasted 7 years and at times, it seemed like an eternity. But through my search for answers over the course of my healing process, and through the graces God bestowed on me through prayer and embracing my cross as I watched the example of others who walked the path of suffering before me, I came to understand the best form of consolation and strength I could receive was in uniting my suffering to Christ’s and living Christ’s passion with him. And so, I want to share a few thoughts with you in case you, like I did, are having a tough time this week.

Embracing the Cross

Nearly every step Jesus took between the Garden of Gethsemane and his last breath on the cross holds a message for us; they are tiny but powerful illustrations of how we can survive our pain. When we ache with affliction, we can look at the suffering Christ and let what he suffered out of love for us penetrate our hearts like a balm. It was all done out of love for us, every agonizing moment, and if we follow his example, our suffering will become meaningful and purposeful.

In contemplating Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane waiting for Judas’s betrayal and petitioning his Father to allow this cup to pass, no doubt he felt isolated and alone. Since loneliness is one of the great scourges of being divorced, it is easy to identify with what Jesus was experiencing that night.

Jesus’ suffering was intense to the point that His sweat turned to blood. He agonized over our sins and the way we offend God. Although slight in comparison to his passion, you can take comfort in the fact that Jesus knows you are suffering a similar pain, a moral suffering because of the destruction of your family.

Christ becomes frustrated when He sees the apostles have fallen asleep. All He asked them to do was watch and pray! Jesus knows how you feel in the wake of those who have let you down.

And when Judas finally arrives in his arrogance, leading the soldiers and clutching the silver pieces in his purse, Jesus’ heart was broken for Judas’s hardened one. He perfectly understands your own heart that has been broken by betrayal.

If you are feeling beaten down and discouraged by the suffering caused by your divorce, I hope you will take time and get away to a quiet place where you can contemplate Jesus in the garden. Meditate on that scene and try to place yourself in the story, sitting next to Him. Unite your suffering with His and take consolation in the fact that he knows and understands what you are going through, and that because of what he suffered for you, you will experience the joy of the Resurrection because of your faithfulness.

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain any more, for the former things have passed away (Revelation 21:4).

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