Pope Francis Smiles As He Dishes Out Some Tough Love To Victims Of Divorce

God’s Joy is Forgiving, God’s Being is Mercy

Forgiveness takes courage. Not only do we gaze into ourselves as we pull up painful bits and pieces, but we also gaze into the eyes of Christ. Your suffering is his suffering. As they did to you, they did to him. He forgives now just as he did from the cross. We learn from him.

“…This is beautiful: God’s joy is forgiving, God’s being is mercy. This is why we must open our hearts this year so that this love, this joy of God may fill us all with this mercy.”
Pope Francis, General Audience December 9, 2015

But with that courage, we need action. Here are some important tips to help you start:

• Forgiveness is a decision, not a feeling. You can still feel angry, hurt, betrayed. You just need to “want” to be able to forgive. You can even pray for the grace of wanting to forgive. Just keep on praying.
• Forgiveness doesn’t mean that what they did to you was right or acceptable. They could have been dead wrong, broken every commandment, every law; but your forgiveness isn’t giving them some golden crown of glory to wear around. If anything you’ll be the one getting that golden crown of glory for choosing to forgive.
• They don’t need to apologize before you forgive them. What they do is between them and God, what you do is between you and God. You forgive not because the person you’re forgiving is worthy but because you want to do what pleases God most and what is best for your heart and soul.
• You don’t need to tell them that you forgive them. Unless you pray and feel led to express forgiveness directly to the person, you’re not obligated. Holding onto pain or offering up forgiveness is between your soul and God’s heart.

A “How” for Now

Since forgiveness isn’t a feeling, the way you forgive isn’t about feeling all sunshiney-happy day. You’re probably not going to enter into a spiritual ecstasy as you pray.

You’re certainly not locked into one set formula, but here’s a suggestion if you don’t know where to start:

1. I usually start by praying the Sign of the Cross,
2. Then speaking to God, “Lord, I forgive [insert name here] for hurting me. Please draw them closer to your Sacred Heart and deepen their conversion to you.”
3. Finally, I pray a Hail Mary or Our Father for their soul

Take time to contemplate how the Lord is calling you to forgive. Meditate on the words of Pope Francis that “God’s joy is forgiving” and his “being is mercy.” Work up your courage, lay down your sword; allow the joy of God to fill you with his mercy. Permit yourself to share in his joy as you forgive with his mercy. You don’t have to do it on your own, just cooperate with the grace God’s holding out to you. It’s the perfect year to be a “flame of God’s mercy” in our world and to do what pleases him most.

Amanda Rose is a divorced Catholic mom who also writes at DivorcedCatholicMoms.com and LittleStepsAlongTheWay.com.

Image of Pope Francis courtesy of neneo at FreeDigitalPhotos.net, CC

Image of woman courtesy of Eli DeFaria, Unsplash.Com, CC