A Few Thoughts On Mary, Our Mother, For Anyone Struggling With Loneliness After Divorce

If you are struggling with loneliness and hardship after going through a divorce, I encourage you to take some time and reflect upon Mary’s life. You will certainly find a reason to persevere, and a richness and elegance that is lacking in many “role models” of today. You will come to know a trustworthy and caring friend that you can always rely on.

I’m so lonely!

Those words were very difficult for me to say, and when I dared to share how I felt with my friend during our phone conversation, they were accompanied by some very bitter tears on that cold, grey Connecticut winter day back in 1998.

It had been five years since my ex-husband had walked out and filed for divorce, and in that time I had put a lot of hard work into rebuilding my life. I had friends, a good job, and I had been on some dates after receiving my decree of nullity. Most of the ducks I needed to get in a row were lined up. But, every night I came home to a cold, empty apartment which was so very depressing. Every morning before work, I would stop at St. Mary’s in New Haven for mass and beg God to end my suffering.

The holidays were the worst, of course, and all the get-togethers and parties in the world didn’t ease the pain of being alone, as a matter of fact, I felt even more alienated. As the weeks and months dragged on at the pace of a funeral procession, my loneliness became almost too much to bear.

Out of desperation one day, I visited St. Mary’s to pray and I demanded an answer from God. Why? Why did my life end up like this? Why am I still alone? I was like a little girl throwing a fit in front of her father, and stomping her foot on the ground because she wasn’t getting what she wanted. Later that evening as I sat in my quiet apartment reading, a thought bubbled up from deep within… what am I supposed to learn in all this?

I looked at the statue of Mary I had on my bookshelf and began to think about her life. I thought, how great it must have been to be visited by the angel Gabriel and be given such a great gift. But then a thought hit me… Gabriel gave her that great news and then went away. She never had (that we know of) any other sort of heavenly visitor to show her the way or to reassure her when things looked iffy. She just placed all her trust in God. Hmm…

I kept examining what I knew about her life, and another thought hit me.