This Advice From St. Therese of Lisieux Might Shock You

Thanksgiving Day is just around the corner and for anyone who has been divorced, this can be a very tough day, even years later and especially if you are a parent. Will you be exchanging children? Will your ex-spouse be present at the family gathering? There can be many uncomfortable circumstances that turn what is supposed to be a day of gratitude and family warmth into a day of wrestling demons.

In the years that followed my divorce, I always dreaded the holidays. I would try to find ways to pump up my attitude and not become lost in self-pity. At times, it seemed almost impossible to find a way to put a smile on my face for the family gathering. But in time, I learned a great way to help myself out of the deep dark hole of anxiety and depression, something I found in the example of St. Therese of Lisieux and one I would like to share with you in case you are struggling in this area and are in need of help. It’s a beautiful way to find gratitude amid your trials and tribulations, and actually turn your pain into a gift that has eternal value.

St. Therese of Lisieux, or as she is popularly known, “The Little Flower of Jesus” was a Carmelite nun who suffered greatly during her short life, beginning when she was a young girl and culminating in her death from Tuberculosis at the age of 24. During her years as a postulant and nun, Therese cultivated one of the deepest and most profound ways of living the Christian life, the Little Way, which was rooted in proving her love for Christ and others through small, daily acts of charity. Life at the convent was quite challenging for Therese and often those difficulties came from the nuns, themselves. But instead of retaliation or returning a lack of charity with the same, Therese would pray for these who had hurt her. But she didn’t just say an Our Father or Hail Mary for them (not that there’s anything wrong with that), she made a special request on their behalf, asking God to reward anyone who had hurt her or caused her grief because they had given her a chance to suffer. She considered suffering to be a great gift which she always offered for souls.

Kill Them with Kindness

When I first read about this I was shocked and appalled. Asking God to bless someone because they hurt me? Impossible! Where is the justice? There is no possible way I’m going to ask God to bless my ex-spouse for what he’s done! is precisely what my thoughts were. But, a seed was planted in my heart and after some time of reflecting on what St. Therese did, I realized that is precisely what true love is… shocking! True love gives and gives to the point people are completely blown away by the level of generosity. True love kills the offender with kindness and that is what wins souls for Christ.

So, I’d like to offer you a few reflection questions that will hopefully help you reconsider your approach to the holidays and have a peaceful Thanksgiving, despite any negative circumstances you might encounter.

• Do I trust God and his mercy, his providence and his justice enough for me to lay down my arms and detach from any ill will I’m holding in my heart? Why or why not? What can I do to improve this aspect of my life?
• Do I find it easy or difficult to not only pray for my ex-spouse and those who have hurt me but ask God to reward them for causing me to suffer? What can I do to be more open to doing this?

I offer you these thoughts with the hope you will follow St. Therese’s Little Way and make this Thanksgiving Day a gift of real love. And it is in this Little Way, you can find everything you need to not only find gratitude in the midst of your suffering, but a life preserver to take you safely and calmly through the holiday season and into new chapters of your life.