Just Well, we are a week into the first year! If you made a commitment to moving more and getting more exercise this year, how did you do this week? I was able to get up at 0530 most mornings and was able to get most of my training in.
Things Fall Apart
Twenty years ago, my life began falling apart. After finishing a Master’s degree for church work, my Conference told me that they were not going to recommend me for ordination based on my school not recommending me for ordination. What would unfold the next fourteen years was a career that was on life support until it finally died in 2016. I take most of the blame for this, my ADHD was not well controlled and contributed heavily to this failure.
This career misstep was a tough pill to swallow, but I was use to dealing with tough challenges. Growing up in the the 80’s with ADHD was tough. Back then, ADHD was not as understood as it is today. Bullying by classmates and teachers was the norm. One of many things that came along with a lack of understanding was a limitation of my educational opportunities resulting in a math illiteracy that I still struggle with today. Losing my first career was just another setback among many that I had up to this point in my life.
Ultramarathons
I took up running ultramarathons in 2010 to deal with the shitshow my life became because starting a new Master’s in 2008 and reestablishing my career was not enough. I would start medication in 2009 and this was a game changer in reestablishing my career. Between 2010 and 2020, I would complete 30 ultra marathons from the 50k – 100k distance. I would also complete 5 GORUCK Tough Challenges. In 2022, I rode my bicycle from Pittsburgh, Pa to Washington, DC. This endurance movement has been the core of my spiritual existence for the last 14 years.
In 2021, I had COVID, and this has put a big dent in my ability to recover from longer events and I am still trying to figure out how to pull an endurance event over 12 hours together or training week over 10 hours without feeling like garbage. But this is just another mindfulness exercise.
The Tendai Monks
I have a deep contemplative practice that I started back in college when I was looking at the monastery as a career direction. Often, when I talk about mindful practices, folks will tell me it does not work. Often, they are referring to the practice of sitting and focusing on the breath. This practice can be excruciatingly frustrating as one has to continuously come back to one’s breath when distracted, that is the point. The other type of mindful practice is movement-based meditation. Here, one can garden, walk, paint, compose music, write, or in my case, run.
In 2012, I came across an extraordinary Buddhist practice known as kaihōgyō or the spiritual challenge of endurance in pursuit of enlightenment. See https://fitonation.com/personal-growth/the-marathon-monks-of-japan-and-the-importance-of-suffering/
These Buddhist monks commit to completing 1000 marathons or complete a suicide. At one point of their journey, they complete a double marathon a day for 100 days. Since 1885, only 46 men have completed this journey. The breakdown of their journey looks like this:
1st year: 100 consecutive days of 25 mile runs, beginning at 1:30 a.m., each day after an hour of prayer.
2nd year: 100 consecutive days of 25 mile runs.
3rd year: 100 consecutive days of 25 mile runs.
4th year: 100 consecutive days of 25 mile runs – performed twice for a total of 200 days.
5th year: 100 consecutive days of 25 mile runs – performed twice for a total of 200 days.
6th year: 100 consecutive days of 37.5 mile runs
7th year: 100 consecutive days of 52 mile runs and 100 consecutive days of 25 mile runs.
Post Traumatic Growth
At the peak of my training in 2016, I thought it would be fun to try and do 100 days of consecutive runs, but I thought better of it. But why do this? I was listening to David Goggins recently and if you just landed on earth and do not know who David Goggins is, just Google him, and you will find out. What David was talking about essentially was about the growth he has gained in suffering through all the extreme endurance events and career decisions he has engaged in.
I believe there can be growth in suffering. Too often we want to focus on post-traumatic stress, but what about post traumatic growth? The cliche is that fire strengthens steel, but doing hard things often can strengthen the mind. In therapy, we often talk about how if you do not want to do something, like coming to therapy, overcoming a compulsion, or even fixing disordered eating, the biggest step is doing the thing you do not want to do.
Just Do It
Lots of podcasters and high level and influential people will say a lot of things about getting after it, embracing the suck but Nike had it right all along, “Just Do It.” There is no magic to working hard. Focus on the process, start with an end in mind and stay front sight focused as we used to say in the military.
A lot of people think I am crazy or misaligned when they hear I go out for a 4-hour run starting at 0600 on a Saturday morning. I have heard, “wait till you get older,” or “what about your knees.” You know what? I am older, a little less bolder, but that brings us to the second point, which is actually two: minimize distractions and have contingencies.
In 2013, after an accident at work, I herniated a disc, knocking out my entire season, 5 races in total with my first 50 miler on the list. For 18 months, I did not run much more than a few miles a week. I attempted a 40k in September and only completed a 20k. Also, my knees do hurt sometime, but that is because I am 46 years old, and I have done a lot more than running in my life or I need to stretch and do some mobility work.
The Spiritual Practice of You
I do not run because I want to, I run because I have to, it is my medication for my ADHD. As COVID has messed with my ability to complete longer stuff, I have transitioned to what I can do, shorter events, more biking. I completed a 150-mile bike pack with my 13-year-old last summer. If you are struggling with your weight, your mental health, or some other malady, get off the couch and do what you can do.
The spiritual practice of you is a journey of mindfulness. We can learn a lot from the Tendai monks. We can emulate their positivity. There is nothing easy about running one mile let alone 25, 32 or 62 or beyond. This is true dealing with anxiety, depression, or some physical health condition. But what we can do is create a positive attitude, regardless of how small. By focusing on the positive, we push ourselves into a more spiritual realm. To do this, we must allow ourselves to open our senses to the sights, sounds and smells of our environment.
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