I Loves Me Some North Korean Journalism

Reportage of this comedic calibre is rare on planet earth (from the NoKo propaganda organ called, I believe, Rodong):

Scrambles for Power

There is presidential election in the United States in the coming November. The two candidates, one from the Democratic Party and the other from the Republican Party, have made a grab at each other.

While they are engaged in a hard scramble, finding fault with each other’s home and foreign policies and energy issues, something extraordinary happened to Romney’s pet dog.

The story goes back to 1983.

The Romney’s were on their journey by car, having their pet dog in a basket for some 12 hours. On the way the dog was found suffering from loose vowels. Romney got off the car at an oil station and hosed down the dog to wash it.

This, however, caused an immediate rebuff from the pet lovers. They blamed him for cruelty to pet. An organization named “Pets against Romney” was formed and there was a demonstration in New York against his cruelty on the pet.

A little later Mrs. Romney appeared on TV. Excusing her family, she said: “The dog looked gay then.” This added fuel to the pet lovers’ anger.

Losing no chance, Obama tried to create an image contrary to that of Romney. He posted in the internet a picture showing him getting in a car together with his pet dog. Below the picture was an illustration reading, “the master who loves his pet behaves like this.”

Having come this far, the Republican Party on its part brought out one of Obama’s past stories. The story told that while in Indonesia in his childhood Obama was glad to eat canine meat. People felt a chill sweeping over them, said the story.

Stories of this kind are spreading far and wide. This is the real look of the United States before the presidential election.

Delightful! In celebration of this mastery of the mother tongue, permit me to point my new readers to one of the finest works of literature in the world, English as She is Spoke.