If you are a monoglot like me…

…you may be on the lookout for foreign languages that are pretty much English with a funny accent, so you can boast about your multi-lingual mad skilz to people at parties or in press interviews without having to go to the trouble of studying, thinking or learning anything new (I hate having to do that!)  Ta dum!  Behold the Telegraph‘s list of easy foreign languages!  With this, you can brag about your burden for Frisian evangelization and your dedication to improving American-Afrikaaner dialog.  Most people don’t know anything about these sorts of linguistic groups. If they do, you can always just cut to citing some statistics you just invented about something Frisian or Afrikaaner and people will usually pipe down and feel properly intimidated.  If they question you, just say (in the same tone of voice you’d use to say “You left you soiled underwear on my coffee table”), “It’s in the 2006 study “Frisian Christianity in Crisis: An Orthopraxic Analysis” by Dr. Terence Freemantle.  You have read it, haven’t you?”  Only a fool would challenge that.  If they do, just compare them to Hitler.  Then break off the interview by muttering something in Frisian loud enough for people to hear and think, “Wow!  He has really come to identify with the oppressed Frieslanders.  What a sensitive multi-cultural type guy!”