Death Stars vs. Anti-Catholics

Death Stars vs. Anti-Catholics January 15, 2013

A reader writes:

There is a “We the People” online poll put up by the White House. Anyone can open a petition, and if they get 25,000 signatures, the White House will give an official response. Around Christmas, some group started a petition to classify the Catholic Church as a hate group. As of January 7, they have 2,200 signatures, and they have to be at 25,000 by January 24th.

However, there was another petition put up to create jobs by building a Death Star. They easily got their 25,000 signatures, and the White House has responded.

I think this is fantastic. I had some readers writing me in a panic about the hate group thingie, but it was hard to take it too seriously. Meanwhile, I’m totally on board with the Death Star idea. If I can get my infiltrating minions to reprogram the Death Star software with a few lines of well-placed code so that I can seize control of it from my throne at the Dark Tower at the Global Unveiling Ceremony, then interrupt all television broadcasts worldwide with a demand for one milllllion dollars and conclude with a hearty, “Fools! I will destroy you all!!!” I’ll really feel like I’ve done a good day’s work.

Of course, the stoopidheads at the White House killed the Death Star idea. Nobody lets me have any fun.

"God bless you, Mark, for this post.jj"

The Curious Reality of Christian and ..."
"Though it is interesting that in many ways, some 'advertisers' (corporations) seem to be jumping ..."

Of Dogs, Fleas, and Jordan Peterson
"FWIW, here's a link where Terry Mattingly (over at GetReligion) tries to pin down the ..."

Of Dogs, Fleas, and Jordan Peterson
"Mark, I don’t think you need “the nature of religion” to explain what you were ..."

The Curious Reality of Christian and ..."

Browse Our Archives

Follow Us!

What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Dr. Eric

    I think this is the official response from The White House.

    • Beadgirl

      I read that a few days ago. Nice to get a bit of levity and creativity from our government!

    • Quincy Jessup

      How can you complain about anti-Catholicisms? They are the ones who insist everyone “Speak English”, and yet they lack linuistic skills in any language while they blather vacuously for fear that if they actually said anything they would be excommunicated. They are the ones who sided with the enemy in the Civil War, both World Wars, and even against terror, while they clamor for Homeland Security pork. Pio Nino banned voting. It is their book-burning, labor-union ways which destroy American productivity. They have no right to proclaim themselves American!

      • Mark Shea

        Have you renewed your KKK membership card recently?

  • Heather Price

    Unemployed geeks unite!

  • It is heartening to think that *somebody* in the White House has a sense of humor. And gotta agree with the 3rd listed objection: “Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man star ship?” That is certainly unworthy of our Dark Lord.

    The image this conjures in my mind: Vader wondering the halls of the West Wing, judiciously applying the Jedi choke move while saying: “I find your lack of faith disturbing. “

  • Just a million? You Dark Lords think small.

  • Mark S. (not for Shea)
  • Paul H

    The White House response was actually pretty clever. I agree with an earlier commenter that it is nice to see that someone there has a sense of humor.

  • Joe

    There’s a part of me that hopes that the anti-Catholic petition succeeds. It would be interesting to see how the White House responds, given their own anti-Catholicism (although they are still politicians).

    • Jon W

      I had that exact same thought.

      • Hezekiah Garrett

        You still have time to sign…

        I don’t long for house-to-house gun confiscation because I am opposed to gun-ownership and I didn’t campaign for Ralph Nader in 2000 because I was worried about the amount of rat feces in hot dogs.

    • Andy, Bad Person

      I keep wondering if the WH will inform people that there’s no such thing as an official classification of a hate group. Where do they come up with this stuff?

  • Can we create a petition to classify those who would create a petition to classify the Catholic Church as a hate group, a hate group?