“Sound” advice, so to speak

“Sound” advice, so to speak January 28, 2013

A reader writes:

P.J. O’Rourke had some practical advice on what to do if someone (in this case, a date) became infatuated with you. Anyone who fears becoming the head of a cult of personality would do well to heed it:  “If you fear that your date is becoming infatuated with you, what you should do is fart, as loudly as you can, right in front of her (or him). This may seem like a coarse thing to do, but it is almost impossible for someone to retain an idealized, dreamy conception of you when you’ve just blown the slipcovers off the furniture and killed all the pets.”

Perhaps I will make a video or create a sound file.  You can’t be too careful.

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  • Esther

    As far as I’m concerned, dubstep is just remixed low-pitched fart noises.

  • This man has rendered himself INVINCIBLE!

  • Jon W

    P.J. O’Rourke is in my opinion right up there with David Mitchell: often right, often wrong, and – no matter what – always hilarious.

  • B-Rob

    You basically did the equivalent to many of your readers Mark when you started discussing “guns.”

    • Mark Shea

      Thank you for that dumb remark.

  • Jen

    When I was much, much younger, a date asked me to ‘pull his finger.’

    There was no second date.

  • thomas tucker

    Maybe this is why wives don’t remain infatuated with their husbands.

  • Keith

    Don’t worry Mark. Any infatuation is dissolved every year with the Star Wars Holiday Special!

  • Dude

    I’m infartuated.

  • silicasandra

    Depending on the age of your adorers, this may not work. In fact, with my 21-month-old, this has the opposite effect. Of course, only with his father. Ladies, especially pregnant ones, never pass gas. Ever.

  • Mark,
    As funny as P. J. has been in the past, to my mind he is one of a club of three writers in the history of English literature who have attached themselves to a particular cause or group, in his case right-wing American politics, not out of any particular intellectual or emotional interest in that group’s message but because doing so has presented them with opportunities to create literature (the other two are Thomas Cranmer with the English ‘Reformation’, and Oliver Sacks with neurology).
    Having decided that has enabled P.J. to stay funny on the intermittent occasions I now read him- perhaps because I can now put his putput in context.