Caught in a Viscous Cycle

…and other choice malapropisms are the subject of this delightful piece from the delightful Front Porch Republic.  Here’s a taste:

Richard Lederer’s “History of the World According to Student Bloopers,” that legendary account from Anguished English in which we learn:

that “the mother of Achilles dipped him in the River Stynx until he became intolerable”;

that “Penelope was the last hardship that Ulysses endured on his journey”;

that “Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock”;

that “Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul” and, “dying, he gasped out the words “Tee hee, Brutus”;

that “King Alfred conquered the Dames”;

that “the Magna Carta provided that no free man should be hanged twice for the same offense”;

that it “was the painter Donatello’s interest in the female nude that made him the father of the Renaissance”;

that “the government of England was a limited mockery”;

that “Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper”;

that the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure domestic hostility”;

that “Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between, he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic”;

that “Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men”;

and that “Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis.”

Fun stuff.  Check thou it out.