Conservapedia’s Conservative Bible Project

Conservapedia’s Conservative Bible Project January 9, 2014

is a particularly piquant and hilarious demonstration of the sheer hubris and insanity of the Thing That Used to Be Conservativism.  Sane conservatives sit back in amazement.  The mouth opens.  The mouth closes.  Nothing comes out.  Nothing can be said to such pure, unreflective, blind pride.  Frank Weathers aptly describes it as “The Valhalla of the Thing that Used to be Conservatism”.  Here’s their thinking in one utterly unironic nutshell:

“The untaught and the unstable twist [Paul’s letters] to their own destruction, as they also do with the rest of the Scriptures.” 2 Peter 3:16

By this verse, we should not put absolute authority in “official” Bible translators – such as those of “The Message” or “The Green Bible”. Instead, we should translate for ourselves, or in a collaborative effort with others we personally trust.

The goal of the crazy people heading this project is to achieve a Bible free of “liberal translation distortions”.  So, instead of them damn librul orthodox college boys rendering of John 1:1 as “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God” we get good solid conservative dimestore Arianism with “In the beginning was the Truth; its Word was with God; and its Perfection was God.”

There’s plenty more genius where that came from.

Particularly hilarious is their insistence on defending the rich by consistently translating the Greek word for “rich” as “miserly”.  Of course, exactly the same word is used to describe God, but they somehow manage to avoid rendering Ephesians 2:4 to describe God as being “miserly in mercy”.

Conservapedia is conservatism is the final stage of dementia for a purely human ideology as it radically and definitively exalts itself above God with Luciferian pride.  Sin makes you stupid indeed.  Like all such expressions of pride, it is to be laughed to scorn, fought with truth, its adherents forgiven with love, and its teachings buried someday in a forgotten grave with all the stupid and crazy heresies of the past.

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