Sign of Hope #3498734: The Vatican’s New Website

Sign of Hope #3498734: The Vatican’s New Website May 8, 2014

I find it consoling that one look at the Vatican website destroys forever the Jack Chick legend of the team of computer scientist super-geniuses compiling the database on all Protestants slated for execution.

Added bonus: “Best Viewed with Netscape Navigator” icon in the footer has been removed. A harbinger of the Great Cleansing Fire that is to come. First, they came for the Netscape Navigators, but I said nothing because I was not a Netscape Navigator user. Then, they came for Internet Explorer users, but Internet Explorer crashed and they couldn’t track our IPs. Then they sent out popups saying “NSA recommends you update your web browser”. Then the NSA got lost trying to navigate the Vatican website and was never heard from again. The weakness of God is more powerful than the might of man.

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  • BillyT92679

    That’s always been a pretty fricken horrible website. So glad they modernized it

  • Doug Sirman

    Don’t know what the hell you’re celebrating for. It’s just more of his borderline-heretical modernity creeping in. Hmph!

  • ivan_the_mad

    I’m disappointed that the pope isn’t giving a thumbs-up on the main page.

  • sez

    I’d heard they were going to get rid of the faux-5th century parchment background. Looks like they just replaced it with an even more lame faux-16th century parchment background.

    Trent says: “In your face, Protestant heretics!”

    • Alma Peregrina

      C’mon! It wouldn’t be the Vatican website if there wasn’t a parchment background! We might hate it… but we would hate it even more if we saw it gone! It wouldn’t be THE Vatican website as we know it…

      • sez

        I’m not disagreeing. Parchment is just fine by me. But somewhere (most likely off a link at newadvent) that it would be changed. IIRC, it was the first (maybe only) specific thing on the list of changes! But the change is so subtle that I’m unable to comprehend anyone cheering about it. Or even mentioning it, for that matter.

        However, after further reflection, I guess a subtle change in the parchment is a pretty big deal to the Ents in Rome.

  • Tom

    I still love that Anonymous somehow failed to hack in to the Vatican website. Dat Divine favor.

    • That was just obedience to good security practice.

  • Alma Peregrina

    “I find it consoling that one look at the Vatican website destroys forever the Jack Chick legend of the team of computer scientist super-geniuses compiling the database on all Protestants slated for execution”

    Oh brother, Mark! You’re so naive! You don’t think that computer scientist super-geniuses would expose themselves so easily, do you? The Vatican website was designed to MAKE YOU THINK those albino killer monks aren’t technology savvy!

    • sez

      Oh. They are that clever, are they?? Wow. Then it’s clear that they must have help from above.

      • Alma Peregrina

        Don’t confound me with your fancy heresies, like Logic and the like! Hiiiiissssss! (crawls back to the safety of Jack Chick’s tracts and lulls himself to sleep)

        PS: Oh, and that parchment background? Don’t you think I noticed the subliminal messages in it?! They were all over the place!!!!

  • capaxdei

    Of course, the website is still best viewed with Netscape Navigator. It’s just that there’s no need to be bringing it up all the time.

  • One of the headlines on the front page at present “Address of the Substitute for General Affairs of the Secretariat of State on the occasion of the conferral of the decorations to the Pontifical Swiss Guards ” – Just the thing I wanted to read about… Oh and that background is nearly 20 years old. I know this because I stole it that long ago for our diocesan website!