Hysterical conservatives feel some compulsion to send me things like this:
Francis is an instrument of the devil, pure and simple. There, I said it.
Dear Reader: Your argument is compelling and persuasive. Thanks to this reasoned case, cogently put forward with relentless and crushing logic, I have concluded that the only sober course of action is to set my hair on fire and run in circles. Thank you for enlightening me on this urgent matter.