…which you can listen to here:
I listened to your “Marriage Reality Movement” podcast with Bill May. In general, you’ll be pleased to know that I was sympathetic to a lot of it. I am also worried about turning children into commodities – extensions of a parent’s ego. Though I’d argue this is more of an argument against surrogacy or in-vitro fertilization, I think that’s a discussion for another time. What I would have liked to have heard, and didn’t, was more of a discussion about how to deal with the legal reality of same-sex marriage as a faithful Catholic now that it is a reality.
The discussion on the podcast seemed to follow the same type of pattern that I’ve been listening to for about 15 years on this topic. While the show did make some concessions to the faulty premises the entire culture is beholden to, it still sets up a very “us vs them” moral dichotomy. The absence of a voice on the program who experiences same-sex attractions tends to imply, falsely, who the “them” is. This is unfortunate and has been a major stumbling block for the evangelization of both gay men and lesbians. In short, neither Christians nor gays are capable of trusting the other, each believing that the other side means to subject them to a merciless and restricting ideology, contemptuous of belief, conscience and individual choice. Why couldn’t Simcha’s brother, Joseph Prever, have also been part of that podcast? His inclusion may have gone a long way towards alleviating some of that false dichotomy.Also, while there may be a place to talk about abstract conceptions, I can’t help but think that this is pointless without real-world examples of how that reality will work for EVERYONE. Absent from the discussion was any indication of how one might persuade the “happily married” gay couple that moves in next door that their arrangement is a farce. How does one convince any children that they may be raising that it would be better to leave what could be the only stable family environment they’ve ever known to go back the dreary rotation of the foster mill?
You’ve often, on your blog, railed against ideologies that pit an abstract theory against real-world objective goods. The reality is that you are ultimately asking gays, lesbians and the children under their care to make an extremely destabilizing sacrifice, all to uphold the sanctity of what, for many of them, is the merely abstract picture of a good marriage that proceeds from church communities where they will never really be welcome, irrespective of behavior. I wish I had heard more of the invitation that is being extended gays and lesbians rather than what seems, at times, to be just another brainstorming session for the next counter-offensive to be launched against them.
Anyway, have a fabulous day!
Unfortunately, I don’t have time to reply (though I do invite readers to join the discussion). But I will say that I like the idea of having Joseph Prever on the show, for whom I have a great deal of respect.