It’s a hard time for us satirists

You come up with something you think is ridiculously over the top to illustrate a point… and then somebody says it in earnest.

Happily, I am no longer heading the Jolly Pride movement. Having lost 75 lbs. I have discovered my true identity as a member of the Trans-Fatty Community and am currently undergoing Slender Identity Reassignment. One thing remains constant though: whatever I do, you MUST approve of it or I will smash your right to free speech and thought, throw bricks through your window, and burn your church and house down–for tolerance.