The Beginning of Healing in Our Marriage

When Karen and I first married, we had problems. Our relationship was a constant struggle because each of us were expecting the other to provide things that only God could provide. For instance, we both expected each other to give beyond our ability. When our generosity toward each other ran dry, we became unfulfilled, disappointed, and even angry. We fought, all the time.

The beginning of God’s healing in marriage came when both of us realized that only Jesus was capable of meeting our deepest needs. We had rejected Him as our greatest resource, and had placed unrealistic expectations on each other. After repenting of these sins, we saw our marriage transformed.

That’s what happens when both the husband and wife get plugged into the life-giving power of Jesus. Your entire life will change as a result of trusting Jesus daily to meet your needs, from the smallest to the deepest ones.

Jesus is faithful. He loves you more than you love yourself or anyone else. There is not a detail of your life He’s not aware of, yet he still loves you. He wants to meet your needs more than you even realize they need to be met.

Have you become disillusioned with life in general?

Have you become disillusioned with your spouse in particular?

Are you regularly disappointed because you don’t experience the joy and fulfillment you desire?

Have you reached the point where you wonder if your marriage will ever work again?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, it’s because you’ve been looking to someone besides Jesus to meet your deepest needs.

Only a person who trusts in Jesus to this depth can expect to have a truly successful marriage. When Jesus is working in your life, then everything else can work as well.

When Jesus is not a part of your marriage, success is impossible.

That’s the bad news. But the good news is that Jesus is ready and willing to meet your deepest needs, and to begin the healing work in your marriage that Karen and I experienced so many years ago (and that we continue to experience on an ongoing basis).

So admit your mistakes. Confess your sin. Come to Him, and allow him to pour his love and grace into your life and over your marriage.

The biggest hurdle in failing marriages and the cornerstone of successful marriages are related to this issue of where we get our deepest needs met.

Who or what meets your need for acceptance, identity, security, and purpose?

I hope the answer to that question is Jesus. Let Him be your Rock and your Source. When you do, you allow God to meet your needs, to cultivate your heart for his work, and to strengthen your marriage because it’s built upon His Word.

“The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever” (Isaiah 40:8).

Like His love, God’s Word never fails.