Why does our marriage exist? That’s probably not a question you and your spouse ask yourselves very often, but maybe you should. What is our purpose? Why are we married?
The truth is that God has a greater purpose, not just for our lives, but also for our marriages. Every great marriage exists for a reason greater than itself, and that reason is God. Every great marriage is about God.
Understanding this—that our marriage has a purpose higher than ourselves—creates unity in a marriage almost immediately. It leads to inspiration, because we will do greater things for God than we will ever do for ourselves, or for anyone else. And it gives us a reason to persevere when we are going through difficult times in our marriages.
But a lot of us go through our marriages with a mistaken view of exactly why we are together. Many people will say “We are married for our children.” But I know a couple who filed for divorce right after their last child graduated from high school.
Demographically, one of the largest growing groups of divorcees are those who split after 30 years of marriage. That’s what happens when you’re only together for the kids. Once the kids don’t need you, then you no longer need the marriage.
Other couples might claim they are together because of their chemistry—because of the love and romance. And don’t get me wrong: those things are wonderful. But they can also be temporary or inconsistent, because they are based on emotions. Emotions change.There will be days when you wake up and the romantic chemistry is gone. The loving emotions have been replaced by boredom, or even negative emotions like anger. What then?
The only reason that a husband and wife will be able to stay together for the rest of their lives—the only reason they will never find a reason not to do the right thing—is when they say “This marriage is about God.”
This marriage is not about my needs. This marriage is not about our children. This is not about sex, or financial comfort, or about what people say. We are together because God has a purpose for this marriage. And regardless of what happens, we are going to do the right thing because of God.
That is how marriages survive and succeed.
In John 16:33, Jesus says, “In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” We are going to go through difficult times, but those who commit to pursuing God’s will and build their lives on God’s Word will have a strong foundation to weather any storm.
We will experience opposition and challenges, but when you base your marriage upon God, it will stand. That is God’s promise to us.