The Distracted Husband

One of the most common problems in today’s marriages is distraction. Specifically, a distracted husband. This is a husband whose attention is so preoccupied by other things he neglects his wife.

If you’re looking for a biblical example of a distracted husband, look no further than King Solomon, the second son of David and Bathsheba.

After being appointed to reign over Israel by his father, Solomon was blessed by God with great wisdom in every area of life. Under his leadership, the nation of Israel prospered.

Kings and queens from around the world traveled to Israel to hear this great man’s wisdom and see his kingdom. Solomon was a gifted man with opportunities to do many wonderful things for God and for his people.

He built the first temple in Jerusalem—a major project. Then he began more projects, taxing the people greatly and working them very hard.

And due to that culture’s practice of using marriage to create alliances with neighboring rulers, Solomon began to take on more and more wives.

The Bible tells us that, eventually, he had 700 wives and 300 concubines.

At the end of his days he had a nation full of completed projects and a palace full of women. But “as Solomon grew old, his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the Lord his God, as the heart of David his father had been,” records 1 Kings 11:4-11.

Solomon’s distracted and driven existence left him spiritually and emotionally bankrupt. His life lacked an intimate relationship with God and an intimate relationship with one woman.

God’s blessing was no longer upon him.

Other than Jesus, Solomon was probably the wisest and most intelligent man in history. If he could fall, anyone can.

Why did it happen? It happened because Solomon was distracted by the busyness and pursuits of life. This left him with no time to pursue God, and his once-rich and intimate spiritual life faded to nothing.

This same mistake affected his relationship with women. With that many companions, he had no time for prolonged conversation or true intimacy.

I don’t know of any man with 700 wives—thank goodness—but I’ve counseled many couples who are suffering terribly because the man is distracted by his job, a hobby, recreation or entertainment.

This frustrates his wife, of course, because he’s tuned into so many other things but not her. To get his attention, she begins to nag, and this drives the husband further away.

That’s not the recipe for a healthy marriage. Healing can’t begin until a distracted husband turns his heart back toward home.

Examine your life and marriage. Is anything consistently drawing your attention away from your spouse or your relationship with God?