Deal With Conflicts on a Daily Basis

A healthy marriage doesn’t mean the absence of conflicts. Every family will disagree or experience tension. What makes a family successful is how they deal with those problems when they arise.

Have you ever noticed that dysfunctional families tend to experience problem after problem? They have more conflict because they don’t deal with their problems—or they deal with them in the wrong way. Because of this, the problems remain. They grow. They constantly impact the family’s relationship.

On the flip side, a successful family recognizes problems when they arise and then deals with them immediately. The loving atmosphere in these homes isn’t a mask to gloss over disagreements. Instead, it reflects the genuine spirit that develops when people handle their problems in a healthy way.

Ephesians 4:26–27 says, “‘Be angry, and do not sin.’ Do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.”

All of us will be angry many times in our lives, and that’s okay because nothing is essentially wrong with anger. Even Jesus got angry! Close relationships with other people almost guarantee some sort of conflict.

The real issue is what happens when we do get angry. How will we handle it?

In the scripture above, Paul writes that we should be honest about our anger but not let it lead to sin. In other words, we express our anger and bring it into the open without letting it accumulate.

Going to bed angry—allowing it to fester and grow without resolution—can be incredibly destructive to a marriage or family.

When you let issues accumulate, you give the devil an open door into your life. This taints your emotions. This creates a hardened, accusative spirit toward the source of your anger.

In my years of counseling, I’ve dealt with many couples who have told me they have fallen “out of love.” Many of these cases involve suppressed, unresolved emotions that have either deadened the husband or wife internally or hardened them against a spouse. The result? Giving up on the relationship.

The truth is that even when people say they’re “out of love,” they aren’t. It’s just that the positive emotions they once felt have been clouded over by unresolved tension. Once these conflicts are resolved within a marriage or family, love and affection return.

However, unresolved problems can create such a profound sense of emotional distress and deadness that divorce is a frequent by-product. That’s why we must be vigilant to deal with problems on a daily basis in our marriage and families.

Part of this isn’t just a relational issue, but a spiritual one. In addition to being honest with our spouse about anger, we must also expose our emotions to the Lord every day. Nothing can be hidden from Him! He will provide peace and a divine perspective if we will receive it.

How do you deal with conflict, anger, and tension in your marriage? Do not let it fester in the shadows. Bring it into the light, where God’s healing power can pour over your emotions and your relationships.