Where I live in Texas, a home’s foundation is a pretty big deal because the soil is full of clay. When heavy rains come, the clay fills with water and expands. During a dry period, the clay contracts. Without a strong foundation, the house will expand and contract along with the ground beneath it. You end up with cracks in the walls, cracks in the ceiling, and cracks in the floor — an unstable home. Jesus memorably said that a... Read more
James and Kyla seemed like the perfect couple. He was a successful architect. She was an ophthalmologist who put her career on hold to raise their children. They had a nice house in the suburbs and appeared to have a wonderful marriage. But when Kyla first came to me for a counseling session, she told me they were near divorce. She had fallen out of love with James, who seemed to value his work more than he valued her. He... Read more
It’s Thanksgiving week, the time of year when, as a nation, we remember God’s blessings and give attention to the things for which we are thankful. I love Thanksgiving. I love what an effective reminder it is about gratitude. But part of me can’t help but wonder what our lives would be like if we focused on gratitude throughout the year—and not just for one week in November. “With praise and thanksgiving they sang to the Lord: ‘He is good;... Read more
One day, getting dressed for work, I decided to wear a new shirt someone had given me. I took it out of the package and looked at the size: it was exactly what I wear. I asked Karen to iron out the creases. Then I put the shirt on. It didn’t fit. It was an “Italian cut,” and apparently I’m not Italian because it was snug in all the wrong places. I ended up wearing a different shirt that day.... Read more
The church at Ephesus had an intense and rich relationship with Christ. But eventually their love for Him cooled off. In Revelation 2:5, Jesus speaks to the Ephesian believers and gives them a three-step plan to restore the relationship: “Remember therefore from where you have fallen, and repent and do the deeds you did at first…” The same three steps will heal and revive the love of any married couple. Today I want us to look at that first step:... Read more
My wife, Ashley and I have both dealt with bouts of anxiety and depression over the years. In our work with couples from all over the world, we’ve seen that millions of couples are suffering in silence over issues of mental health and the unnecessary stigmas that these issues often carry. It’s our goal to help these struggling couples find freedom and lasting solutions. We know from experience how discouraging and isolating you can feel when depression or anxiety strikes,... Read more
In my years of working with married couples, two of the most common complaints I hear from wives are: “My husband just won’t step up and be the leader of the home.” And… “My husband always demands his own way.” On the surface, these two complaints seem contradictory, but they’re not. In fact, they’re two sides of the same coin and they represent two aspects of the same problem: Unhealthy leadership from the husband. This then begs some follow up... Read more
Every parent knows how important it is to be on your best behavior around your kids. Why? Because they’ll pick up on whatever habits they see from you. Whether we like it or not, proximity automatically leads to imitation. If you raise a perfect child with all the right moral character but put them around bad kids, the bad kids will corrupt your good child. The Apostle Paul said it this way: “Do not be deceived; evil company corrupts good... Read more
(Adapted from Jimmy’s newest book, When Life Hurts) Karen and I began our marriage with a host of sins, hang-ups, and personal wounds. From the start, our relationship was rocky. Our struggles took us to the brink of divorce until God stepped in and healed our marriage. Much of that healing occurred when the two of us, as individuals, turned away from harmful behaviors and began to bring good things into our marriage. But we truly believe the overall... Read more
One of the best ways to improve family communication is to identify, and then remove, the unhealthy forms of communication that have wormed their way into our lives. Many of these come from childhood experiences. Others arrive, slowly but steadily, as relationships develop. All are destructive. Silence: Rather than talking about issues and resolving them within a healthy relationship, many people use silence to both punish and intimidate their spouses and families. When tension or conflict arises—especially when anger is... Read more
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