“So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” (Genesis 1:27) Last week I shared how God created marriage for a variety of reasons, but that His main purpose for bringing you and your spouse together was to reflect to the world His eternal covenant with mankind, through Jesus Christ. Marriage is a picture of God’s covenantal promise for all the world to see. To be honest,... Read more
If you were to sit down and write out a list of the priorities in your life, what would it look like? Most lists would look something like this: God (seeking and serving Him personally) Spouse Children (if you have any) Church (seeking and serving God together with His Body) Extended family and special friends Work and career Hobbies and other interests Of course, it’s easy to make a list. The real test is confirming these priorities. How do... Read more
I received a mysterious voicemail from a pastor friend of mind. He lives in another city and we rarely hear from each other, so I was a little surprised when his message said he needed to talk to me about something and he didn’t want to do it over the phone, so he would be driving the two hours between his city and mine to meet face-to-face. I immediately called him back, but despite my desire to know more details,... Read more
In the parable of the sower, Jesus discusses how the Word of God hits some people’s hearts. Some people bear fruit for God as a result. But others do not bear fruit because they exhibit “thorny soil”—soil that is choked out by the cares of this world, the deceitfulness of riches, and the desire for other things (Mark 4:1-20) The issue of bearing fruit doesn’t only apply to the individual lives of believers, but also to marriages. Some men and... Read more
God created sex for two reasons. First, He wants us to procreate. Second, He wants us to experience pleasure in marriage. As we pursue the latter, we need to feel free to explore the realms of sexual pleasure while also knowing our boundaries. As you might imagine, during my years teaching and counseling couples, I regularly get asked, privately, about these boundaries. What is allowed sexually within marriage? What isn’t allowed? Is it OK to experiment? Couples ask these questions... Read more
We live in a culture that’s obsessed with independence, but it’s important to remember God created us to be dependent beings. We are His sheep. He is our Shepherd (Isaiah 40:11). We must rely on him for protection, provision, and guidance. We can’t make it on our own—nor were we designed to. But as important as it is to live aware of our dependence on God, it’s also worthwhile to acknowledge that God created us to depend upon each other.... Read more
Ask ten people why God created marriage and you may get ten different answers. Some options: God created marriage to populate the earth. God created marriage to keep people from getting lonely. God created marriage because two are better than one. Our different roles complement each other and make us a stronger whole. There’s truth to all of these. But do they really explain God’s ultimate purpose for marriage? I don’t think so. For instance, animals and plants have been... Read more
The grass looks greener on the other side. You’ve heard that statement before. It’s a reason a lot of marriages fail, because some relationships get to a point where the thought of being out of the relationship seems better than staying in it. One reason for this has to do with emotions. Emotions toward your spouse on your wedding day are much more intense than emotions several years later. When people compare the way they feel now with the way... Read more
“He’s just not emotional available!” These are words that so many wives have said about their husbands only to be left feeling misunderstood and unloved. Most husbands don’t fully understand what their wives mean by “emotionally available,” and it kind of freaks them out. Instead of striving to be more emotionally available, many men sidestep the issue and try to avoid it altogether by throwing themselves into work and hobbies. But this only makes the problem worse, and it often... Read more
I often receive messages from wives who are frustrated with the physical intimacy in their marriage. They love their husbands and want to make sex a priority, but they have a hard time getting “in the mood.” Between work, kids, household duties, extracurricular activities, homework, church, and everything else, it can be difficult to shut down the ever-increasing mental clutter in our minds. Sadly, sex often becomes just another item on the “to-do list.” But when we see sex from... Read more
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