Little Things

I’ve been resting and it has felt so very good. A couple months ago, we purchased a small home and I am still unpacking. Books mostly. When a liberal arts major and a bookworm marry, the result is several wonderfully geeky children and a house filled to the brim with books. We have thousands despite our annual efforts to thin them out (the books, not the children). They make our house feel like home.

We finished potty training one of our sons (only one more kid to go!), which makes me very happy. Potty training is arguably one of my least favorite parts of motherhood. I haven’t had only one child in diapers for over six years, now. Since our second baby was born, I’ve always had 2-3 children in them. Only changing one person’s diaper a day feels luxurious.

Since we changed my PTSD medications a couple months ago, I’ve lost thirty pounds without changing my diet and exercise regimen. My body feel strange. I don’t recognize myself in the mirror, but it is nice to fit into my old clothes. In a recent conversation with my nine-year-old daughter, she asked whether I had gained weight or lost weight since I became a mother. I answered honestly. I lost weight while I was pregnant (and hyperemetic) and gained more after the pregnancies. She didn’t believe me. “Yes,” I said. “I was 125lbs before I had you, and now I’m 150lbs.” Her eyes got big. “Mom, you were way too skinny before you had kids!” Bless her. These are things that reassure an ex-bulimic.

This weekend, my husband and I will celebrate our 11th wedding anniversary.When we started dating, over thirteen years ago, we had very little in common besides a passionate attraction for one another.  Now we know what each other is talking about without explanation, sometimes before the other person says it. We enjoy many of the same bands and several of the same books. Our taste in art and aesthetics have melted into one another. Our children, of course, give us much in common; my eyes and quirkiness, his chin and confidence. Food, oh man, boy do we love the same food now! Ideal date night? Home alone, a good bottle wine and cooking dinner in the kitchen together. Absolute perfection. We even agree on the same white noise to nap to.

It is all the little things, you know. These little things that add up into one fantastic, breathtaking concoction. You mix it all up and it simmers and bubbles until it overflows right out of your heart.  One day you wake up and you really can’t believe how good your life has become. And none of this has been earned by us. It is all gift, right from the house to the kids to food in our pantry and the flip flops on our feet. God, the good Father, loves to bless His children — even, especially perhaps, when we don’t deserve it.

“Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. Of his own will he brought us forth by the word of truth, that we should be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures.” -James 1:16-18 (ESV)