After Job had prayed for his friends, the Lord made him prosperous again and gave him twice as much as he had before. All his brothers and sisters and everyone who had known him before…comforted and consoled him over all the trouble the Lord had brought upon him. The Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the first.
In our lives God uses conflict not just to make the story better but to make us better. In life, not just literature, we repeatedly see that protection from conflict produces soft, spoiled, and selfish people, while enduring conflict is more likely to produce someone strong, capable, and caring.
If I’m honest, I really hate this principle. No one, especially me, enjoys conflict with others; hardship or suffering. Not a bit of it. Truth be told, I absolutely am convinced that my own seasons of suffering and times of loss have made me a better person…a more worthy and effective comforter to others. Although Job’s extreme loss of everything he counted dear is an extreme one, we can learn so much from his supernatural, grace-given, faith-driven response to his pain. He got down on the ground and worshipped the Lord. If that response wows you as much as it does me then we can all agree Job’s example is something worth paying attention to when we face unthinkable trials (or worse still…when our loved ones face them).
GRANDparents learn from their parenting mistakes
At this writing, I have four adult children; six grandchildren; plus five more grands in Heaven. After interviewing women and men for both of my Empty Nest books, I learned a lot about what regrets moms and dads have from parenting their own now adult children. Right at the top of these surveys runs one theme. Parents from all walks of life now realize they didn’t always allow their children to feel the consequences of their poor choices keenly enough. It’s true. These now grandparents are viewing parenting from a wiser and more experienced vantage point and they hope and pray their own adult children will allow the necessary cause and effect life lessons into their grandchildren’s lives on a regular basis.
GRANDparents teach their grandchildren how to handle loss
Today’s grandparents recognize the value of allowing pain and some suffering into their grandchildren’s lives because they understand it takes hardship and loss and personal discomfort to nurture strong, giving, other-centered, resilient adults. Taking a broad view of the human experience, I doubt anyone would disagree that those who have endured some of the worst life has to offer are often the most giving, mature, kind, and compassionate individuals out there.
GRANDparents encourage their grandchildren to learn from their mistakes
One of the more powerful gifts we can give to our grandchildren (and our adult children) is to view all of life experiences (the good and the bad) as valuable life lessons that will help to form our character as we submit these difficulties one-by-one to the Lord. Some of the more sensitive grandparents among our number might resist accepting this fact. But in truth, if we shelter our grandchildren from age-appropriate life lessons we hinder their growth and development as robust change-makers in God’s kingdom. Even a brief study of God’s Word reveals that most (all?) biblical characters worth emulating grew in character and godliness post-seasons-of-personal suffering.
GRANDparents pray every day for their grandchildren
Given this albeit painful truth, wise grandparents will not resist the working of God in their grandchildren’s lives to save them a small measure of temporary discomfort in lieu of possible permanent character development paralysis. They won’t. So what is the loving grandparent to do? Get on their knees. Stay on their knees. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
Ask the Lord for the wisdom and grace to know how to pray. Instead of simply beseeching the Lord for pain relief; how about asking that the Lord do a good work of developing strength; patience; kindness; compassion; and long-suffering in our grands’ lives. Grandparents will liven up their prayer life by starting and ending with generous amounts of praise to the Lord by thanking Him for completing this good work even before the He has begun. Real life changes begin and end when grandparents are on their knees.
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