How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!
“Talk is not cheap because interpretation is not cheap. The way we interpret life determines how we will respond to it.”
Speak To Influence In Love
Sometimes specific conversations stick in our minds because of the emotion they evoked. Other times, we remember someone’s words because they were able to state what we have been feeling but unable to articulate. One of the most memorable conversations that will bubble to the surface of my mind whenever I face a parenting challenge (or heartbreak) is a simple observation my closest friend spoke.
We were discussing our current parenting roles and responsibilities and how they were changing yet again as our post-high school children were now college students, college graduates, new to the workforce employees, some still single, and some married (with kids.) In short, our kids were now grownups. What my friend said to me was this, “Whoever said that parenting ends when your children turn eighteen was wrong. Dead wrong.” Agreed.
Speak Life To Your Family
Not to discourage any young moms and dads out there, but look at parenting through this little equation. Little people = little problems. Big people = big problems. When our kids were small, we attended to their scraped knees, splinters, and playground fights. As our children grew to adulthood, so did the magnitude of their problems in life. Instead of scraped knees and childish spats, our kids are now facing, well, the very same problems we parents face. Relationships that sour. Jobs that are lost. Finances that don’t quite cover expenses. Burdensome educational loans. Pricey car repairs. Unending home maintenance. Life-ravaging illness and disease. Tricky child-rearing issues of their own.
Never in my younger parenting years could I have imagined the mental strain and emotional pain I’ve endured since my four children have graduated from high school. Much of the time, I was just praying to get them graduated from high school. Silly me. How was I to know that the parenting journey (like most of life) would become steeper and demand far more of me spiritually, mentally, emotionally, even physically, than in my (and their) younger years?
I don’t suppose we should spread this fact around to the young moms and dads out there lest they shrink back from parenting altogether. But it’s true nonetheless. As your kids age, you’ll be forced to face one season of letting go after another, as well as being forced to accept that parents of young adults have precious little control over their children’s lives. It’s something we know and accept intellectually (that we have no control), but our emotions struggle to keep pace with this ever-morphing role of parenting.
Prayer Is The Weapon Of Choice
There is, however, one area where God gives moms and dads more control over with each passing year. It is the weighty burden and privilege to intercede like never before. Parents now (finally) have the insight of age, experience, and hopefully lots of wisdom that they can use to fuel their prayer for their kids. Speaking, praying, and exhorting our young adults towards God’s best for them becomes the primary mode of operation for parenting well, the kids, who are now adults, whom God has placed under our charge.
There is a tendency to try and peek around the next corner of life whenever we’re in the messy muddled struggles of parenting young kids. I used to long for the day when all four of my children were out of diapers. Then I longed for the day when they understood what it meant to lay on their beds and stay there for a quiet time. Next, I longed to get to summer when I could get a break from homeschooling. You guessed it, by mid-July I was longing for the routine of a brand new school year. I was perpetually longing. Silly me.
Thinking Biblically Strengthens You
I’ve found that I can’t really value and appreciate life when I’m always longing for the next season to arrive. One insight I have discovered through lots of trial and error (too much error on my part) is that how I think affects how I feel which affects how I act. Make sense?
When I think in biblical terms, putting all my hope and trust in God’s perfect provision for me and my kids for today (just today), my mind and emotions reflect that beautiful truth. Which in turn affects the words that come out of my mouth. Pleasant. Patient. Kind. Gentle. Loving. Sounds good to me (and my kids.) I’ve learned to give thanks for this day, this hour, no matter what it brings. I deeply desire to speak words that will encourage and equip my children to face their trials in ways that honor God and that enable them to overcome whatever challenges arise. No matter how old I am, no matter how old my kids are, the A, B, C’s of child-rearing always begin and end with Trust Him (and then say so out loud.)
Check out my new book, available now!
Fight For Joy: Discovering Peace in Impossible Circumstances
By:
Publisher: CLC Publications, November 2025
About: Michele Howe has been there―facing cancer, family grief, and waves of personal and relational hardship, she discovered that joy was not out of reach but was a promise worth fighting for. Howe focuses on our heavenly Father’s faithful love for us during life’s most difficult and challenging seasons. As Christians, we can experience enduring joy despite impossible circumstances, and we can know God’s perfect peace, joy, and inner calmness as we turn to Jesus in our heartache, pain, and confusion. Read More.
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