A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families.
Before I received that ominous telephone call, I can tell you plainly that I couldn’t have cared less about the national divorce statistics being in excess of 50% failure rate. All I cared about was that my best friend feared her marriage was over and it broke my heart.
I still remember the evening she called and my friend began telling me that her then-husband was making all sorts of complaints about his life, their marriage, and her specifically. What boggled my mind was that this behavior was so uncharacteristic of this particular guy. Always easy-going, seemingly happy, I would never, ever have predicted the upcoming heartache that was about to fall on my friend and her three young children.
Friends Are Safety Nets
Talk about life throwing you a curveball. This turn of events left everyone who knew this couple shocked and scratching their heads trying to make sense of it all. And my dear friend of over forty-five years? Well, we had traversed lots of painful territory together but never anything like the loss of a marriage. In the days that followed that phone call (when I mistakenly told her everything would be okay,) I think we talked every night for months. So terrific was the blow of her husband’s departure, that just getting through the day’s responsibilities was utterly overwhelming to her (and her children.) Who could think about the distant future when today was too painful to endure?
For both of our sakes, we would talk each evening and then I’d ask her, “So what do you absolutely have to do tomorrow?” She would tell me. Then we’d discuss a workable way to get it done. Over time, the daily phone conversations began to stretch out until we were chatting only a couple of times a week. The curious thing happened during that time and I don’t believe we noticed it until years later.
Friends Talk Us Through
As my friend’s marriage began to die a slow death, our friendship started to flourish. It was also in the midst of this emotionally horrific season that my friend found faith in Christ. We’ve talked about it numerous times since…how God allowed one type of death (her marriage) but ushered in another kind of new life (eternal life in Him.) While making a commitment to Christ didn’t erase the betrayal or take away the pain, my friend will tell you that Christ walked alongside her and made the journey bearable. Once my friend placed her trust in Jesus, I began to breath a lot easier because I knew one thing, for sure and certain, He would never let her fall too far.
During life’s most painful intersections when we feel like we are being suffocated by pain, we often discover the power of our friendships to keep us from falling too far. Isn’t that what true friendship is really all about? A joining of hands and hearts that won’t allow someone we love to fall too far? No matter what the personal cost to us, we secure our friend from giving up, going under, or being trampled over. It’s what friends do for each other.
Friends Hold Each Other Up
You might need me today. Tomorrow I may need you. It’s all about staying close enough to hear a friend’s cry for help and then doing something about it. Another thing about friends is the constancy of their loyalty and their willingness to forgive each other when one fails. In little ways or large, real friends understand that we’re all going to let one another down eventually. But true friends never let that fact get in the way when their friend is hurting. Just like Jesus said, there is no truer love than to lay down one’s life for a friend.
I lay down my life for you by giving you my time, my attention, my listening ear. You love me by forgiving me, speaking truth to me, and guiding me back on track when I stray. We love each other through undying loyalty, unwavering commitment, and unconditional acceptance. Friends don’t let friends fall too far.
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