In God they trusted and were not disappointed.
Sitting in a swivel chair completely covered by a gown, I sat with my eyes shut tight (but my ears wide open) as my lifelong friend (and almost as lifelong hair stylist) shared with me the tricks of her trade.
I had come into her salon with a weary heart and she knew it. We bounced around topics faster than she was putting color on my hair and snipping away all my split ends.
Knowing that she listens to countless men and women tell their stories (and unburden themselves) each and every day…I couldn’t help but ask the question, “How do you hear so much bad news every day and not allow it to take you under emotionally? Don’t you get overwhelmed at people specifically and at life in general by the end of the day?”
God Alone Carries Life’s Burdens
Believe me, I was all ears, because of late it seemed most of the news I had been hearing was painfully hard to take in (or take on) and I was feeling the weight of burdens not meant for me to carry. One person hurting another person. One individual betraying another. The stories, the heartbreaks, went on and on.
My friend sort of laughed and then told me her trick…after years of having taken on too many of her clients’ problems (and carrying them home with her) she finally realized an important truth. She could be a caring listener and a messenger of encouragement, but she wasn’t anyone’s healer…anyone’s savior.
No Person Is Another’s Savior
Bingo! As soon as she uttered the words, I felt like someone zinged me right in the heart with a truth I needed to grab hold of and never let go. I can be someone’s listening ear. I can offer some words of counsel and advice. I can pray (and I do.) But I am never, in any circumstance, someone’s savior and messiah. No one is to take the place in another’s life. Jesus. Savior. Messiah. Everything I say and do should point people to Him, the only One who will never, ever disappoint.
Disappointment and expectations run hand in hand. The higher our expectations of people, places, and things, the harder these unrealistic hopes fall when they fail us. The only thing we can count on is that the more we expect a person (or any God-substitute) to take the place that God created just for Him, we will suffer the same corresponding measure of emotional pain. The truth is, when I expect too much from you and you let me down, I’m going to really feel a down and out heartache. Perhaps unreasonably so (and that’s my problem, not yours.)
God Alone Never Disappoints
The more we harness our expectations and rein them in to fit with reality, the better off we are. The better off our relationships are. Any time we make another person our personal savior or messiah, we’re in trouble, they’re in trouble, and the relationship is in trouble. The more we look to God to meet our needs, the fitter we are to start forgetting about ourselves and begin looking out for the needs of others. It’s a win-win scenario for us and for everyone we come into contact.
As we place our main focus on God as the lover of our souls and as the provider of our every need, we are freed up to love and enjoy those in our lives more fully. When we learn to turn toward God to get our needs met, we in turn, learn how to seek out and meet the needs of others. Our expectations then, aren’t unrealistic ones anymore, they are guided by the principle of doing unto others as we would have them do unto us. In other words, we start loving others with a generosity of spirit we were never possessed before we gave up our unrealistic expectations that morphed ugly into deeper disappointments with the person or the relationship.
Who wouldn’t want to discover the path to loving others lavishly from the inside out? That’s where the freedom lies. That’s where the fun begins. Forgiveness. Fellowship. Freedom. Bliss. Pure Bliss.
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