O Lord, you have searched me and you know me.
Psalm 139:1
“For all of us, there are inevitable moments when, even surrounded by loving family and friends, we feel invisible or go through something alone. A surgery, a divorce, a death, a failure. Those sleepless nights, those closet moments, those tears we shed in private.”
Carolyn Custis James
There are some things we simply have to endure alone. Physical pain and its accompanying suffering is one of those instances in life that we go through by ourselves. Our families can love and support us, our friends can empathize with us, and our medical doctors can offer us the best care available to modern science, but we alone feel the pain.
This fact was brought home to me each and every time I sat alone in the recovery room after my six shoulder surgeries. My family was waiting for me in the outpatient area; my friends supported me with phone calls, uplifting cards, delicious food, and lots of heartfelt prayer. My doctor and his staff consistently gave me excellent follow up care in the weeks after my surgeries.
God With Us In The Dark
Still, I was alone in the recovery process. No one felt the pain but me. No one endured the long weeks of uncomfortable sleepless nights. No one else experienced the sharp knifelike pain that surged through my muscles as I stretched and strengthened my shoulders back into good condition.
These pain-ridden experiences taught me something. There are times and events and sometimes entire seasons when God allows us to be set apart and in pain, so that we learn how very strong He is on our behalf. And, we similarly find out how our very weaknesses can make us strong in Him. The spiritual formula I discovered in my moments of greatest weakness were in Paul’s words…when I am weak then I am strong. It’s true.
God With Us When We Are Weak
The more dependent I felt physically, the more I drew my inner strength from the Lord. To be honest, I went through lots of lonely and painful, sleepless nights and countless, uncomfortable days when I wanted to give up. And yet God lent His perfect strength and grace to me during those times. He reminded me that I was never really alone. He was upholding me, healing me, protecting me.
Alone we struggle in pain, united to Him we prevail over it.
Down times, as I learned personally, are not wasted times. From our Lord’s perspective, I often wonder if He would much rather get our attention in less time consuming, less painful ways. But we’re too busy, too driven, too consumed by…whatever matters most to us. These varied distractions could even be good things like; family, ministry, volunteerism, friendships, and work
God With Us When We Want To Give Up
Often when we’re laid out flat on our backs (literal or not,) God gets our attention. When He does, we generally listen. Why? Because we don’t have any other option. But when God speaks to us during our most painful and weakest moments, the words He has to impart to us can change us forever.
One of the most valuable takeaways the Lord has taught me was during my physical down-for-the-count seasons. I would complain to Him that I really couldn’t understand why He had me going through the same surgery over and over, the same lengthy recoveries over and over, enduring physical pain before, during, and after each of these episodes. I wanted to serve Him. I was eager to get back into service and jump into new areas of ministry.
God With Us When We Aren’t Enough
His reply to my rants? Over and over, I kept sensing (and reading) the same truth I believe God was slowly instilling into my heart. That principle is this: we want to serve from the power position (as Elizabeth Elliot so aptly terms it.) We want to give, and serve, and teach, and help others when we are feeling strong, wise, and able. But very often God wants the exact opposite from us. He wants us to serve in those same capacities when we are feeling anything but strong, wise, and able.
Why? His strength is made perfect in our weakness. And…don’t miss this truth – God desires for us to be keenly aware that even in our best moments we aren’t enough. God wants us to depend upon His enabling every step of the way so that we will know that He did the work. It was Him and only Him who worked through our weaknesses to accomplish His great good. He loves us. He knows us. The work and the results are His doing. Isn’t that enough to know?
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