Rumination of a bad back

Rumination of a bad back October 7, 2006

As those who have to hear me go on know I have a “bad back.” I suffer from a variety of things which include degenerative disc disease and arthritis. It makes me wish there were a personal divinity as I have lots to complain about – and the human back being fairly high on that list.

For the last several weeks I’ve been enveloped in a condition I call “wonky,” where there’s a deep chronic pain, probably at least in part an inflamation that’s a pre-condition for what I call “going out.” Going out being a time when I cannot move without excruciating pain. It passes with bed rest. (There was the time I suffered a herniation – but I love to tell that one in too great detail, so I’ll let it pass for the nonce…)

I know the condition is aggrevated by my being overweight and sedentary. So, there’s a bit of guilt mixed in with self-pity at these times. But currently, mainly I’m just deeply annoyed.

I was supposed to attend a North American Soto Zen Buddhist conference where a paper I had a hand in writing was being discussed.

But my condition precluded the flight from Chicago not to mention the drive to Zen Mountain Monastery where the conference was being held.

On the other hand my inforced non-action has been leading to some delicious moments of reading. I’ve just completed re-reading Carl Bielefeldt’s Dogen’s Manuals of Zen Meditation. (here’s a good review) I know from the dogearing and the marginal notes I’d read it before. But it seemed a whole new book this time around. For those interested in the niceties of Zen meditation it is an astonishing resource. I’m following up right now (well, as soon as I end this check in) with Steven Heine’s Did Dogen Go to China? It looks to cover some of the same ground but from Heine’s distinctive perspective. I have little doubt I’ll enjoy it…

That and NPR and flipping through the channels of the apartment’s TV seem to be destined to be my major occupations for the weekend.

Ah, sabbatical!

(as that wise person said, the only problem with privilege is that everyone doesn’t get it…)


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