Don’t be Afraid of Change: A Briefest Reflection on the Dynamic of Creation

A homily by
James Ishmael Ford

At the
14 June 2009
Rhode Island Interfaith Pride Worship Service
Beneficent Congregational Church
Providence, Rhode Island

Text

And Ruth said, Entreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God: Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried.

Ruth 1:16-17

Peggy Neff and Sheila Hein made their lives together for eighteen years. Then, on September 11th in 2001, Sheila was working at the Pentagon when one of the hijacked planes crashed into it. Like so many surviving husbands and wives, Peggy’s life was torn apart. And like so many others in her situation she sought assistance in her home state. The response she received was “Please accept our condolences on the loss of your friend. We regret to inform you that you are not eligible to file a claim under (the) Virginia Victims of Crime Act.” This is an abomination. And things must change. Fortunately, things do change, all the time. And, now, we are at a time for change. It is time for marriage equality.

Those who say we’re trying to change a venerable tradition are unaware of how much marriage has in fact changed and dramatically over time. Without repeating the litany of changes over the many years, let me just hold up how until the early middle twentieth century American marriage created one person in law, the husband.

It is good news for us is that we don’t have to do something just because it has always been so. That’s the great thing about being human: we are creative, we can change. The radical idea of complete equality between a man and a woman was a change found within a creative engagement with our traditions, washed through reason and care. We are now at the edge of completing that evolution, truthfully that revolution toward full equality of women and men. It requires one small step, allowing same gender couples their full rights. And, we are at the edge. We are almost there.

Do not forget Peggy and Sheila. This call to marriage equality is the call of justice, of love, and, yes, of creative change. Of course this is a worship service. Above all else, I believe this is a spiritual matter, a religious matter. Religions are by nature conservative institutions. And so many of our fellow people of faith have been slow to come to this table. But, we must. We are about something written on our hearts, the call to manifest love. And love, love for the world, for each other, is the heart message of all religions. And love is at the heart of this call. Love is our guide in the work of change. Without it change is reckless and destructive. But with love we find perspective and build a new world of hope for all. So, of course, this work of love is a spiritual matter.

The path to change, to justice for all, requires a full-bodied engagement. We must look at our own hearts, we must see how we have offended against the God of Love and our neighbors, our deepest knowing how we are all connected, we must then confess our errors, and finally we must embrace with wild abandon all those who have been hurt and wounded by what we have done and what we have left undone that has contributed to those hurts, to those wounds that mark too many.

We have come to a time where we can see the errors of the past. We have come to a time when we can see the harm our cultural norms have done to people like Sheila and Peggy. We need to name this exclusion of people who love the right to the same commitments, responsibilities and privileges enjoyed by the majority population, for what it is: a sin, a sin against love and love’s God.

Of course, we need to love the sinners, otherwise how would we ever learn to love ourselves. I mean sin is, as we’ve all learned in Sunday school, “missing the mark.” I’ve missed too many marks in my time to really want to be judgmental. But, we also need to see the sin, the missing of the mark, and to call attention to it. Gently. With love, with heart, with knowing we really are all in this together. And that’s what it’s about, being together as one people, women and men, gay and straight, and everyone in between, all one.

We must engage the way of love, of transforming love, of changing love, which is the heart of creation. The way is simple enough. Let our hearts become palatial. Let us throw our hearts as wide as all outdoors. And in that let us be transformed, and let us in that help to transform the world. One small step. Remember Sheila and Peggy, and all those who have been wounded by what is. Let love reign. And let us change.

Let those who love, marry.

Amen.