Today in 1776 my current home state of Rhode Island became the first of the colonies to renounce all allegiance to the king of England.
Today in 2010, after a shower, a little zazen and a trip to the local Starbucks for a hit of caffeine, I’m sitting in the great room at Friendly Crossways contemplating my sins as we await breakfast and the beginning of the day’s program for my district clergy retreat.
I also realize if I wag my finger here, I can go to breakfast with the gang and pretend to be much nicer than I really am…
For some reason ideas of self and mind float to the surface of my consciousness. Perhaps sparked by conversation with ministerial colleagues yesterday. Perhaps just the noise of my monkey mind.
But it is the deal. Frankly, I am a bit surprised now and again how people engaged in what they consider a spiritual enterprise so often miss this.The deal is to look into our own hearts and minds as they are. This is the project.
And as we do this I know it is hard to see the self that is my heart and mind with any clarity at all.
Actually it is a miracle of some proportion that we can watch the workings of our minds, our heartmind, if you will. I mean how is it that the mind can watch itself? I know some brain scientists are hot on the trail and there are tantalizing hints at all this. But, for me, the how is less important than the bare fact that one, read I, can watch, and can learn…
If we look perhaps we notice what we find doesn’t exactly square with stories we heard in Sunday school.
Perhaps this sets up a crisis, small or great.
If so, here’s something possibly of use.
In the Wumenguan, case 41, we hear the story…
Bodhidharma sat facing the wall. The wandering monk Dazu Huike came, stood in the snow, cut off his arm and presented it to the master. He cried out, “I am seeking peace of mind!” The master replied, “Bring me your mind and I will pacify it.” Huike replied “I have searched diligently for my mind, but I cannot find it.” the master replied, “Your mind is now pacified.”
Were it that easy.
And, of course, it is…
Open your heart and mind wide, and it is immediately obvious.
But here we are, in this mess right now, where we don’t quite get it. Where this sounds like it might be interesting, if also a bit repelling. I mean cutting off one’s arm? So, getting a real handle on what is being pointed to seems elusive.
Without the real disciplines of presence most of us need some pretty serious goads to really look, to deeply feel, to actually notice, to understand why someone might cut off their arm to get to the heart of it, to find our way in; like say getting terminal cancer.
Me, I prefer to try and get a handle on it when I don’t have other things to do at the same time, like try to live a bit longer when I’ve found I have cancer.
And so for me the practice is sit down, shut up, notice.
And if we are diligent and just a little lucky, we find that moment of grace and the heart and mind is pacified.
Then, of course, we try to explain it. And doing so we’re stuck with our personal stories and our cultural and religious referents. Here’s mine…
In my life of looking it hard and for a long time it seems pretty obvious the mind, that is my mind forms out of the workings of many things, basically the biochemical stew that is my body organized by that most amazing thing my brain. I am many things. But they’re brought together by an organizing principle, that brain, which keeps the body working and moving and doing its thing.
Which, at its grossest level is probably about the continuation of genes…
That’s the story I like.
And, fortunately, there’s more to it, as well.
Thanks to the power of this consciousness thing.
The offer is to cut to the chase. To throw ourselves fully into the great matter. To throw off the kings of heart and mind and to discover genuine freedom.
To find for ourselves.
We can be, as someone said, the universe witnessing itself.
An amazing thing.
And meaning enough for any one’s life.
We don’t need actual disciplines to see into this. Or, feel into it. Thinking isn’t what this is about. Feeling isn’t it. Although both are part of the deal.
Witnessing is a pretty good way of pointing to the matter…
Being present is another way to try and say it…
Just this
Just this
Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In