It’s All in Your Head: A Meditation on Blaming the Victim as a Spiritual Practice

Have you ever been mugged and had a friend ask you why you wanted that to happen?

Happened to a friend of mine. Before we go forward, just so you know; I wasn’t the person with the question.

The premise within this exchange is that we are in control of what happens to us. If we’re right with the universe everything we want will be ours.

And, so, if we have cancer, we wanted it.

If a child is born into a war and starves to death, well. They must have had unfinished business to deal with.

If you’re raped. Born into poverty. Have a spouse that beats you.

Are rich. Have everything handed to you on a golden platter. Live to be a hundred and two.

All your choice.

I would say something extremely crude at this point, but this is a PG rated blog.

If it were true, then, well, however hard it is, we would have to deal with it. I’m very much up for hard truths. So long as they’re true. But in this case, it’s not.

Let me offer a contrary view.

The universe is very big.

It consists of many, many different things going on. Each influencing other things. At some point everything is connected with everything. In a last analysis sort of way we are all connected.

And.

What we think, what we feel and what we do are parts of that great mix of motions that lead to other motions.

Everything is connected.

But here’s the sad news. You are not the center of the universe. Nor am I. The universe doesn’t give a flying fig that you want to be rich, or healthy, or anything in particular.

What happens inside your skull is important. No doubt. Adjusting your attitude about things has salutary effects. It helps, but it doesn’t cure diseases. It can inspire you to get off your duff and do things, but by itself, it doesn’t make you rich.

It can be very important in your tiny corner of the universe. And we can never know the full extent of the waves caused by our small stone cast into the waters.

But it really is almost entirely very personal. Your thing. My thing. Our thing to a limited degree.

And ultimately all connected.

But we are not God. We are not the center of things. What we think, the waves of our actions, are limited.

And somewhere along the line no matter what you think, you will die.

And it will be a dead death.

Thinking your thinking shifts the universe in any significant way is silly. Until you tell someone else their thinking led to their distress. Then it becomes evil.

A hard word. But the right one.

And it doesn’t matter who tells you otherwise. New Age pundit. Zen Buddhist teacher. They say you create the universe inside your head in some literal way, and they’re full of fecal matter, spouting the great brown stuff out of their mouths.

And this is the important point. Don’t chase after false teachings because there are true ones that are actually of use.

Look for that which will actually help you to heal your heart and to be fully here in this world.

Look to wake up. Open your heart. Open your mind.

Just be present.

If one actually wakes up to who they are, they will discover a great and compelling intimacy. With their own hearts. Your heart. With the environment. Your environment.

My heart. My environment.

We are.

And, I’ve noticed, as we discover this truth, we are changed. Our hearts becoming larger.

We care a bit more.

And our actions can become the work of God. Even if we’re only tending a tiny corner of the vineyard.

That’s what the ancient teachings were really pointing to.

And of vastly more value than thinking positive thoughts to get rich.

And blaming the poor sods who don’t…