The current “Whose Are We?” program being foisted upon UU clergy turns on an anecdote about the Quaker theologian and activist, Douglas Steere. He wrote that the perennial question “Who am I?” inevitably leads to a “deeper” one, “Whose am I?”
Among the advocates for this program within my little UU clergy world the assumption out of this is that as we have no identity outside of relationship, that no one is autonomous in the final analysis, this question of “Whose am I?” is in fact the driving one.
I beg to differ. The one does not necessarily lead to the other, and the discovery of radical interconnectedness is not at all necessarily connected to the discovery of a being at the center of reality.
And something more.
As a spiritual director in a tradition that uses questions to drive our hearts and minds to the depths, when someone comes to me and says “the question I’ve been given leads me to another question,” I am inclined to reply, “That’s nice. But let’s stay with the question you’ve been given.”
And, the question that does indeed rise across the human condition is “Who am I?” Sometimes “What is this?”
A fierce pursuit of this question is, in fact, sufficient to take one on a journey of discovery. Although as a friend who read an earlier version of this post pointed out, our teacher Robert Aitken was very wary of the “who” question in any formulation, as it tends one toward a hall of mirrors, a place very hard to escape. Still, it does drive one to the pit, as well. And that’s a necessary step.
“Whose am I?” is a lovely question. No doubt. It is, of course, predicated upon some assumptions about the way the universe is composed. Assumptions that I’ve not found confirmed in my own experience. And it has that house of mirror quality as well, this time multiplied…
The radical interrelatednedness, absolutely.
But a being at the center of it all, self or other, not so much…
So, for me, the problem with “Whose am I?” in particular is how it turns one too quickly to revealed truths, the doctrines of one’s spiritual community, which if that’s the question, will have worked out a good story. Who is also marred by an assumption, a tad more forgivable, I suspect, but only just…
The question here is are you in quest of a good story, or, are you looking for the bottom line, so far as a human mind and heart can apprehend it?
If the relentless pursuit until a real finding is opened for us is the goal, I’d be wary of questions with built in answers.
Actually, in the tradition within which I’ve followed my heart’s goal, the primary question is not even framed at a question. It is the simple word “No.”
Dark inside dark.
Is this the way?
No.
I understand.
No.
I don’t understand.
No.
It’s a hard path.
No.
But it leads right to the heart’s longing.
No.
Right to the core of the matter.
No.
Where self and other are understood.
No.
Now for those for whom no is too hard, we sweeten the pot and say just call it Mu. It’s a Chinese (sometimes pronounced Wu) and Japanese word that means no.
Cracking open the knowing
And revealing the great not knowing
At the heart of the universe…
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